It’s hard to see the positives in life when a loved one passes away. My grandma played a huge role in my life. For 22 years, she was one of the most constant influences in my life. She was the only person to ever babysit my brother, and I when Mom had things to do. She lived with my family for 10 years, helping my parents through many awkward teenage moments. So when Grandma and Mom finally decided that she would be better off in a nursing home, I was incredibly heartbroken. She had been there for nearly every moment of my life -- what was going to happen, now?
Grandma moved out, and time moved on. As the months went on, we began to see less and less of her. Life became so much more demanding as high school neared its end and going to the nursing home each week almost felt like a chore. It wasn’t until two weeks ago that I realized how much time I had wasted with her. Now, those precious moments are something that I can never get back.
I received the call from my mother at 5 a.m. Sunday morning. Mom called me, telling me that I needed to get to the nursing home as fast as I could because it was “time.” I don’t think I have ever gotten ready so fast in my life. When I made it to the nursing home that morning, I took my final pictures with my grandmother. I held her hand for hours, and I whispered sweet nothings in her ear.
Suddenly, I longed to be six years old again. Every day, I would sit on grandma’s lap, and we would drink Pepsi and eat chocolate while watching "The Price is Right." I longed for Grandma to run her fingers through my hair, and to tell me that she loved me.
It was only as I sat at her bedside that I realized the many mistakes I had made in my life. I desperately wish there was a rewind button, so I could go back and embrace those amazing moments we had shared when we were younger. What I learned from my grandmother’s death was the following.
You’re never too busy. Life is never too demanding for a loved one. There is always a way to make time, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
Don’t make the same mistakes that I did. Absorb every single moment that you can, because life is so much shorter than it seems.
