Most of us have been told to not have a serious relationship in our 20s. That these are our defining moments, or time of freedom, the time to discover who we are. It’s suggested that if you’re with someone during these times, you’ll grow with them and not as an individual, and you won’t be as happy. I’m not going to argue this. I don’t recommend long term relationships in your 20s. You should date, have fun, explore what and who you love.
I’ve been in a relationship since five months into being 20 years old, now I’m nearing 26. I won’t sit here and act like it's been the easiest. I’ve changed a lot, I’ve questioned things, made mistakes, doubted myself. Sometimes I’d look at single people in envy, they’re having an experience I can’t have. However, I’m also experiencing something they will never have. I get to wake up each day, no matter how much of a wreck I am, someone is there supporting my decisions and reassuring me that I’m worth while. Someone to always join me when I want to live out some silly adventures, and someone to listen to me at the end of the night, when I’m doubting if my dreams will ever come true or if I’m making all the right decisions. Growing up takes an emotional toll, and sometimes it’s nice to have someone who is always 100 percent there for you, in a way friends and family can’t be.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you won’t grow into who it is you want to be. It doesn’t mean you can’t explore desires, make questionable choices, and change in ways you never expected to. It just means that you have to take someone else’s feelings into consideration when you do so. Besides, they’re growing and changing too. There is something magical about looking back on when you fell and love and realizing the two of you aren’t even remotely who you were then, but better, stronger, and more in love. There is nothing quite like watching the person you love discover what they’re passionate about, achieve the goals they set, and plan their future with you. Even if those plans change roughly 15 times in five years.
So do what you wish. Stay single, have fun, enjoy your freedom. Don’t actively look for someone to spend the rest of your life with, but if someone comes along and it feels right, don’t ignore it. Relationships in your 20s don’t have to mean the end of your self discovery. If it’s the right person, they’ll love nothing more than watching as you discover yourself.
