It seems that our society has put a negative connotation on the word “introvert.” If you are an introvert, then you are defined as shy and don’t like social interaction. You would rather stay home alone all the time than be surrounded by people.
However, this could not be more wrong. As an introvert myself, I thoroughly enjoy being around people. Shyness and introversion are two very different concepts.
First of all, what does it mean to be shy? Being shy has to do with more anxiety or discomfort that may involve social interaction. However, many introverts feel very comfortable with being around people. The main thing to understand about introverts is that they get their energy from spending time alone.
According to Sophia Dembling, author of “The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World,” “The number-one misconception about introversion is that it’s about shyness,” says Dembling. “The best distinction I’ve heard comes from a neuroscientist who studies shyness. He said, ‘Shyness is a behavior -– it’s being fearful in a social situation. Whereas introversion is a motivation. It’s how much you want and need to be in those interactions.’”
Something extroverted people need to understand, is that introverts love people. I consider myself to be more of an introvert, and I am constantly out doing things and hanging with my friends. The main difference is that I enjoy and feel more comfortable being with my specific group of friends. I don’t mind going out to parties or bars and being around people I don’t know. I actually love to do both of those things. However, I feel most content being in small groups or around my closest friends.
Extroverts gain their energy from being around people whereas introverts gain their energy from spending time alone. It is possible for introverts to be over-stimulated at times from being around new people constantly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, it just means that they need to balance it out with spending time alone.
A common misconception is that a person is either fully introverted or fully extroverted. All of us have qualities of both, but we can identify as one or the other more often. According to research from Psychology Today, “Each of us has some introversion or extroversion, and where we are on that scale can differ from moment to moment. That means that with some effort we can tap into our opposite nature.”
Whether you identify more and an introvert or a extrovert, neither one is better than the other. Extroverts have been viewed at times as “superior” because they are seen as more assertive and sociable. These are important qualities to have in an individual, and should not be overlooked. Introverts may also obtain these qualities, and are known for being keen listeners and observers. The point is that both introverts and extroverts can have all these qualities or may have a few of them. Each individual is unique and should be defined by their strengths and not in what they may lack.
One last thing to remember is never try to “fix” an introvert. If you are an extroverted person dating an introvert this is very important to remember. Understanding the differences of each others personality will help grow the relationship and provide better communication. Being introverted or extroverted is apart of our nature. It is not something to be changed but rather embraced.
