The Trouble With Dating Me

The Trouble With Dating Me

If I can't accept love, how am I supposed to give it?
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Dating is something that I take seriously and something that also does not come easily to me. I am not quickly comfortable with new people and I have serious trouble becoming comfortable. I am someone who only likes affection when I feel like it and yet at the same time I need constant reassurance that someone is still interested in me.

The trouble with dating me is that I am not confident. I am not confident in my body, I am not confident in my ability to grasp someone so intensely that they begin to fall for me, I am not confident in most things and a relationship is 100 percent one of them. I have a lot of trouble with accepting things, especially myself, and especially when things are going in the right direction for me.

To some people, I have an awful outlook on love which makes dating me a tad difficult. To myself, I have a realistic outlook. I don't necessarily believe that all people have a "significant other" in the marriage sense. Like, for example, I think that few get to experience love in someone else and I think that it's extremely special when that happens, but by no means do I believe that it happens for everyone. I believe in soulmates and significant others in the sense that maybe there is someone out there who is perfect for you, but maybe that person is your best friend or your cousin or someone you wouldn't consider marrying, but they're still your person. So yeah, soulmates are for everyone, but love? I don't know about that. I can love my best friend but that is an entirely different kind of love than I would express to my boyfriend, you know? It's just different. I personally don't think I will ever fall in love again. Been there, done that, over it, moving on. Love isn't for me.

The trouble with dating me is that I have serious trust issues. This is not some hipster "I don't trust boys because one broke my heart a hundred million years ago" type stuff. This is where I have been proven time and time again by some of the people that I care about the most that not all people have the same heart as you do. I have been internally torn to shreds because of situations where my trust was broken and I will not ever let that happen again. So forgive me, if trust isn't my thing. It takes time and patience to gain my trust but if you can endure that then I promise it's worth all of the effort.

The trouble with dating me is that I get jealous. I am not a crazy, stalker, psycho girlfriend who needs to know where you are at all times and who you are with and what time you'll be home and all that wild stuff. But, I am someone who is protective and when I am in a relationship, I am in it entirely. If I'm not receiving that kind of attention back (and if I know you are paying more attention to other people than me for the most part) then I, being the sensitive person that I am, will definitely find it hard to not show my jealousy.

I think the trouble with dating me is that I have all of these qualities that I consider to be awful and I am constantly hard on myself for things I may not be able to control, and some nights I cry... a lot. I think the trouble with dating me is that I only like physical contact sometimes (this includes hugs, even). The trouble with dating me is that I will never consider myself good enough for anyone. I will deny compliments, but I'm the first to give them. I will hide my emotions but be the one there for others to talk to. I will get frustrated- I'm extremely impatient, but it takes a hell of a lot for me to give up and I usually won't. The trouble with dating me is that I haven't found someone who makes me feel like these things about me aren't "issues" or "problems". I haven't found someone who sees these things as positive challenges and is willing to get past them WITH me. The trouble with dating me is that I haven't found someone who can prove to me that love is more than what I consider it to be- and most importantly that love is FOR me.

Cover Image Credit: Stocksnap

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13 Things You Should Know Before Dating The Girl Who Loves Music

I can promise you that you'll never be bored.

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So, you're interested in this girl and you just found out she loves music more than the average person. She posts about the concerts she attends on social media and has a few favorite band guys that she talks about way too much, though that's nothing to worry about because the chances of them stealing her from you are slim to none. Before you really start getting to know her and consider dating her, here are 13 things you should know about the girl who loves her music.

1. She'll have so many Spotify playlists.

There'll be one for the car, one for studying, one full of JUST Fall Out Boy...one for every occasion and mood is a must.

2. She'll constantly be buying concert tickets.

Anytime a band announces a tour and they're coming relatively close to your city, you can bet she's already bought tickets.

3. Her wallet will be full of ticket stubs.

Megan Courtney

If you ever need her to hold your keys, credit card or cash, she may be limited on space because of all the stubs she has in her wallet. Trust me, I have stubs all the way from last summer. We just forget to take them out and we end up having a collection that goes with us wherever we go.

4. If she finds a new band, they'll be all she talks about.

And she'll just HAVE to see them live and won't shut up about it until she does.

5. Her profile photos will be of her and artists she's met.

Megan Courtney

If she's just recently met an artist, you can guarantee it'll be her profile picture for at least the next few months or so.

6. When she finally meets her FAVORITE, artist, she'll never stop talking about it.

Megan Courtney

I can guarantee you she's at her happiest when she's surrounded by her favorite artists. She'll smile like she's never smiled before.

7. Her friends will be just as bad as she is.

Megan Courtney

If you thought she was bad about posting about bands, her friends are just as bad, if not worse.

8. Her camera roll will be filled with pictures of her favorite band members.

She may talk about them all the time in front of you, but you shouldn't worry because they're likely married or in relationships of their own, and the chances of her actually dating them are slim to none. It's just a mere...extreme fascination, if you will.

9. She'll be more sympathetic and understanding.

Chances are she's met other people because of these bands who have gone through some pretty tough stuff. If you vent to her about personal things or open up about your past, she'll understand and won't judge you, because she's either known other people who've gone through it or she's gone through it herself.

10. She'll love you with everything she's got.

These bands have taught her how to love something with her whole heart. If you happen to date a girl who loves a band, you're in luck. You'll never have to questioned if you're loved and how much she loves you.

11. You'll never run out of things to listen to.

With all those Spotify playlists she's got, your music library just got an upgrade. If you're tired of listening to the same 12 songs, try listening to some of her music. You may find a new favorite.

12. You'll be introduced to a whole new concert experience.

Never been on the barricade at a concert? Never met an artist? When you're dating someone like her, you'll do so many new things when it comes to concerts, you'll wonder why you went so long without doing it.

13. You'll never run out of things to talk about.

Whether that be planning a concert, talking about a band or voicing your opinion about a new album, when it comes to music, you'll never be bored or run out of things to talk about. Maybe dating that girl won't be so bad after all.

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