You will never be able to save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

Especially when they have it built in their mind that this world is nothing but nightmares and people who want to hurt you.

The thing is, I wasn't going to hurt you. I wanted nothing but the best for you. I wanted to show you everything that you so desperately hid from. I wanted to show you what it was like to fall. Fall in love, fall into the unknown. I wanted to show you what it was like to be unapologetically you.

I wanted to show you the joys of late night car drives with absolutely no destination. The feeling of running through the rain in the midst of this grey world. Laughing so hard you cried and accidently forgetting to fill up your gas tank, so you're stuck on the side of the road, but you take those 20 minutes to watch the sunset and enjoy the birds. I want to show you what it's like to run short on cash at the grocery store, and piss off everyone in line as you count pennies from your pocket, but turning around and buying the person behind you's groceries instead, and yelling at the top of your fucking lungs because you are so in love it hurts. I wanted to show you the world. What it was like to be unapologetically yourself. Run late, spill your coffee on that job application, and dance around the kitchen at four am with some pretty girl whos got the ocean in her eyes and the secrets of the world in her heart. Let tears fall out of your eyes at four am and let your thoughts empty from your fingertips to your keyboard and forget to close your car windows so you have to sit on a stack of towels on your way to work in the morning, or plan an ocean trip just to get caught in a thunderstorm, so you and your friends huddle in a nearby pizza shop and tell each other stories. For once in your life, I wanted to show you the joys of being simply human.


Since I have known you, I have learned that you like to work, and you hide your feeling for anyone who could possibly care about them. You think too broken to love, and you think that you'll hurt anyone you touch, so you push them away. I learned that you find comfort in being needed, but for the love of god you are afraid to fall in love. You live life in a line, because you have convinced yourself if you go off the path, the world will shatter into a million pieces. You won't let yourself be spontaneous, and you refuse to let me get to you, because you don't want to be hurt. You try to let my words go in one ear and out the other, but you find yourself stuck and tangled into my thoughts. But, for the love of god, you would rather smoke a bowl pack when your alone in your room to escape, then let someone show you an entirely different universe of late night talks and sneaking candy into the movie theatre.


You're afraid, and I don't think anyones had the balls to tell you that before, even yourself. So, maybe you want to end things with me before we get too close, and maybe you are going to push me out, and maybe I can't stop that, but that's okay. Even though I want to save you, I have realised I can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

But maybe you'll read this, and maybe then you'll take my words and build yourself a new life. For you can never be happy when you push away the things that make you feel loved.

I want you to know how much I love you. I would have given the world to see you smile. I would have crossed mountains and swam oceans to give you everything you needed to feel at ease. I loved you with the broken pieces of my heart and the shattered shards of my soul. I loved you with every ounce of my being, and maybe that wasn't enough for you, but that's okay. No matter where I stand in your life, or who I am to you. Remember these things.

1. Stop letting your fears take control of your life.

Whether it's the anxiety that fills your lungs before opening that letter you got in the mail from the college you wanted to attend since you were twelve, or not being able to breathe while walking into the job interview you've been dreaming of for years. Whether it's the depression in your heart, telling you to skip going out with your friends, or the fear of being rejected when telling the girl you love that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Don't allow those things to convince you that you're not good enough. Never, ever, allow your fears to keep you from chasing everything you've ever wanted.

2. Don't say no to something because you are afraid it will hurt you in the end.

This world is full of pain, you will always have the chance to be sad, but when do you get the chance to be happy? Even if it scares you, even if you know it will hurt in the future, be happy when you can. You never know what the future holds, so don't worry about it. You are right here, right now, so take the moments as they come. You'll be thankful it happened. Everything comes to an end, and if you spend your life worried about what's gonna happen in the end, you'll never be content with what's happening right now.

3. Never give up.

When things get rough, and you are close to giving up, don't. You are worth so much more than that. Push until you can push no longer, and then push again. When you fail, get up and try again. When you lose, get back up and fucking win. When someone pushes you over, don't just stay there on the ground like nothing will ever be okay again. Never. Give. Up.

4. Remember that the past is the past.

Just because someone else hurt you, doesn't mean she will. Just because you were a bad person in the past, doesn't mean you are now. Just because you lost everything you once had, doesn't mean you can't build your life up again. Refuse to dwell on things that are in the past.

5. And Love yourself.

Nobody else in this world can make you happy, until you make yourself happy. Love everything you are, and if you don't, then change. You have the power to feel what you want. You have the world at your fingertip, and you are worth so much more than you feel. You are so much more than your anxiety and your depression. You're more than your shitty parents and everything that made you fall down. You are more than your demons. Learn to love yourself, because until then, you'll never be happy.


I guess you can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved. But, you can sure try.