Recently, I received a text from a male that read “I would love to see more of you.” Initially, I was confused because I didn't even have this contact saved in my phone. After looking the number up on my laptop, I realized that it was from a boy I had not seen or spoken to in more than two years. I would refer to him as a man, but clearly judging by the content of the text he sent me at 3:34 AM, he is no more than a boy.
At first I just ignored the text and continued on with my day, but the more I think about it, the more baffled I am by it. My first question being how many girls did he have to send that exact text to before he actually got the response he wanted? In addition to this late night text, I received a slew of Facebook notifications to inform me that said boy had liked numerous profile pictures of mine. Because apparently him liking my pictures will entice me to give him what he wants? Like many of the girls who are reading this, I’m sure you’ve have also received a few texts with similar content. Modern day romance, am I right?
After letting this marinate for a week I decided to publicize it because I think there are a few important things that can be drawn from this late night text. I will preface this rant by stating that although this may seem like an ultra-feminist piece, it is not. I do not consider myself a serious feminist by any means. However, I feel that a lot about our generation and modern day relationships can be spoken for through this text.
When did it become okay for boys to speak to us like this? First and foremost, it is incredibly degrading. For a boy to hide behind his phone screen at 3:34 AM, and presumably drunkenly ask me to send him pictures of myself, just reduces me to the status of an object of his desire – which I certainly am not. I am a young woman who has many amazing qualities and talents, I am not just my body or my face and I am certainly not just for your viewing pleasure. I have enough self respect to know better than to look at this as a grim form of flattery and every girl out there should too.
Second, when did this become the culture we are accustomed to? Why aren’t we doing more to change it? Hiding behind our phone screens has become the common theme for our generation. We rely on text messages to say the things we are too afraid to say in person, so at least if we are rejected, we can cower in peace rather than in front of the person we are pursuing. I am guilty of this, as we all probably are. But being degraded to no more than a sexual object by a boy via text message and Facebook likes was enough for me to speak out.
Why are we so okay with this culture? Ladies, stand up for yourself. Each and every one of us deserves someone who is willing to look at us for our intellect and strength rather than our physical figure. If this is the direction our culture is headed in, then I am genuinely concerned for the world my future children will grow up in. Boys and girls – we’re both equally accountable – stop sending texts that degrade one to their physical being and have some respect for one another. Sure, if you mutually agree that physical attraction is all there is for you, then great! Continue to do as you please. However, if its not mutual and its just a shot in the dark, then please, don’t send your text asking for nudes. It probably isn’t going to work, so just quit while you’re ahead.
Finally, to the boy who sent me this text; I apologize that you had to be the one to evoke this rant from me. For your own embarrassment – I emitted mentioning your name. But maybe you can learn a thing or two from this article. I’m sure you too have some admirable qualities. However, if you only view women as objects, we aren’t going to want to get to know you for said admirable qualities. It’s not too late for you to make a change – granted change doesn’t happen overnight.
