You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts - Philip Arnold

I guess I just happen to be one of the 350 million people worldwide to have depression. It's important to identify who is most likely to experience depression as a disorder. Understanding yourself is the first step to healing yourself.

I first took notice of my depression when I was 13 years old. I remember one night in my bed experiencing this terrible agony and self-loathing. I am 19 now, and I realize why I have this depression at times.

I have major depressive disorder, not just a mild depression. The exact name for my depression is existential depression.

What exactly is existential depression? Existential depression is a depression that arises when an individual confronts certain basic issues of existence, according to James T. Webb, a nationally recognized psychologist.

In his "Existential Depression in Gifted Individuals," Webb writes about how Irvin Yalom, a psychiatrist and author, said existential depression is characterized by four causes or ultimate concerns: death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness. Someone who suffers from existential depression thinks about death a lot — especially that it is an "inevitable occurrence." Freedom, in an existential sense, refers to the absence of external structure. In other words, humans have to create their own structure. Isolation recognizes that no matter how close we may come to another person, there will always be a gap. Whether it is very small or very big, we are alone. Meaninglessness stems from the first three. If we inevitably die, have to construct our world (since there is not one inherently) and are ultimately alone... then what meaning does life have?

Blaise Pascal, a scientist and philosopher, fully captured the experience of depression by saying:

"When I consider the brief span of my life, swallowed up in the eternity before and behind it, the small space that I fill, or even see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces which I know not, and which know not me, I am afraid, and wonder to see myself here rather than there; for there is no reason why I should be here rather than there, nor rather now than then.”

It is well-known that many famous artists, musicians, philosophers, writers and scientists have experienced existential depression. Some famous people who experienced it were Ernest Hemingway, C.S. Lewis, William James, Charles Dickens, Isaac Newton and Leo Tolstoy. According to many studies, existential depression seems to be more prevalent among people who are of higher intelligence — those who ponder, question, analyze and reflect.

Gifted individuals often have these characteristics that may lead to problems.

Three key personality traits are more abundant in people with existential depression.

1. The Isolated Introvert

There are quite a few studies which show that introverts suffer more from depression than extroverts. Dr. David S. Janoswsky conducted a 2002 study that found 74 percent of the depressed population are introverts. It is important to know that the isolated introvert enjoys the company of a few chosen others but craves time alone to re-energize. Too much socializing (especially forced socializing) can lead to feeling emotionally drained.

2. The Overachieving Perfectionist

There are quite a few studies that link perfectionism to depression and other health problems. Many studies have shown that perfectionism is linked to depression. I would say there are at least two main kinds of perfectionism or a combination of both. Both types greatest wish is to be perfect in some way. Sometimes this is learned from one of your parents. These people are also highly self-critical and perhaps intolerant of making any mistakes. Many perfectionists take every criticism to heart and turn it into a self-loathing. Self-esteem is highly conditional upon outside measures—meaning that you also highly care what others think of your possible imperfections. Some people (like I) don't care what other people think while others do as well.

Gifted and more intelligent people also tend to envision the possibilities of how things might be; thus, they tend to be idealists. They tend to imagine the perfect world or people, and they tend to try to make this into a reality. However, most of the world is stuck in its ways. Reality is different than what it could be, which leads to disappointment. These people tend to be visionaries who realize how to make a change, but the world is very limited in how much it wants to change. Brighter individuals tend to recognize injustices, inconsistencies and hypocrisies — often leading them to challenge people, society and traditions to make the world a better place.

The most common thoughts that these individuals face are deep questions about the world. Why do people say things they really do not mean at all? People ask, "How are you?" but don't really care how you are and only want to talk about themselves. Why are so many people unthinking and uncaring in how they deal with others? Are others really concerned with improving the world? Why do people settle for mediocrity? How much difference can one person make in an impossible world with indifferent people? It's all so hopeless.

3. The Daydreaming Creative Type

There are many articles and studies which suggest a strong link between creativity and mood disorders including depression. I've always been described as creative by others. People who are creative often have extremely vivid fantasies and daydreams. Some people may be annoyed with them zoning into la-la land, but this is where the individual gains energy. Not enough of this charge and the individual might feel helpless or stressed — leading to depression. These people may be considered hypersensitive, highly observant and contemplative.

Myers-Brigg personalities who have it the most:

Almost everyone it seems has heard of the Myers-Briggs Test. It turns out that the two personalities who experience this kind of depression the most are both introverts, perfectionists (or idealists) and creative. INTJ's (which is what I am) and INFP's have the highest tendency to have depression. You can take the test or learn about these personalities here. INFP's have the highest tendency to have suicidal thoughts and commit suicide while INTJ's are the most likely to suffer from major depressive disorder. INTJ's (being more strategic) generally deal with their depression a bit better than other types. When both of these personalities are disappointed because of their perfectionist/fantasying/idealistic ways, they become disgruntled idealists leading to depression.