Forgiveness. One of the simplest and kindest thing we can give another person. It is not only good for the other person, but good for ourselves as well. I’ll be honest with you, though, forgiving isn’t always the easiest thing for me to do.

When someone wrongs us, we can feel a range of emotions from pure anger to sadness and it can go as far as changing how we see ourselves. Because of this, we are prone to holding grudges which hurts you more than it hurts the person you need to forgive.

“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” – Dave Willis

Many times I feel like forgiving someone is letting whatever they did, go unresolved or not making them account for their actions, but what I had to realize is that is not my job. In Romans 12:19 Paul instructs us to “never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Don’t worry about them having to face what they’ve done; if necessary, God is going to take care of it.

At one time in my life I thought I was too forgiving; someone would wrong me, they would apologize (or sometimes they wouldn’t) and I would act like nothing had ever happened. Oh, how I wish I could go back to that time, because that’s truly what we are supposed to do. In Matthew 18 Jesus tells us that we are to forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven times. Now, if someone requires your forgiveness that many times they may not be someone you want as a close friend, but they still are deserving of your forgiveness.

In the case of someone not being apologetic for what they’ve done the only advice I can give to you is to stop thinking about it. If they don’t care enough to apologize, then I can assure you they aren’t thinking about it as much as you are. I know personally how hard this can be but you owe it to yourself to move on with your life and leave the past in the past. There may be a day when they grow up and want to make amends but don’t sit around waiting for that. Is it really worth it to let this anger weigh down your heart?

While forgiveness can be a hard thing to master, remember that no one is perfect at it and it takes time. As C.S. Lewis wrote:

“. . . you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart—every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out. The difference between this situation and the one in such you are asking God’s forgiveness is this. In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people’s we do not accept them easily enough.”

We are all human and we all make mistakes. For us to hold those mistakes against one another is sinful. Forgiveness is freeing and we must allow ourselves to be set free. Remember that Jesus forgave us when we least deserved it, can we not extend the same kindness to others?

^“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight” – Ephesians 1:7