The Struggles Of Overcoming Self-Harm
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Struggles Of Overcoming Self-Harm

I was the girl in sweats and a hoodie in the summer.

30
The Struggles Of Overcoming Self-Harm
Google Images

Whether you believe it or not, self-harm is an addiction. For me, it was like my own kind of high and it was like a breath of fresh air, until the effects wore off. Many people believe that a person who self harms is merely doing it for attention or that they are suicidal. For some like me, that doesn't prove to be true at all.

Growing up I had a few friends that self-harmed and I remember the emotional turmoil I went through. My heart broke every time I found out that they hurt themselves. I swore I would never do that because I didn't want to cause my family and friends so much pain. Seeing my grandpa pass away really took its toll on me. I had nightmares and couldn't sleep through the night. One day I was feeling so low and felt that self-harm was my only option. It didn't take much thought, which surprised me. I have never hated myself as much as I did in that moment. I felt ashamed. I felt weak. I felt like a failure.

Self-harm became my form of control. Any argument or situation that I couldn't control was triggering. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was mutilating my body to feel better and didn't understand why. I knew it was wrong, but I honestly didn't care. I was constantly wearing sweatpants and long sleeves just to hide what I had done. Guilt ran through me constantly, especially when I saw the scars I had left. I would have a permanent reminder of the times that I had lost a battle with myself.

Mental illness has definitely played a role in my self-harm. I used to self-harm to calm myself down when I was having an anxiety attack. It all starts with a sharp emotion, anger, sadness, feeling hopeless. As things continue to pile on my mind it seems too much to handle, and when that total hopelessness takes over, I need something to take back control of how I'm feeling. I feared being looked at differently by my friends and family. I never came across as the girl that would "stoop so low" and self-harm.

In order for me to overcome my self-harming ways, I began to write. I wrote anytime I felt like I was capable of hurting myself. I bought multiple coloring books and started coloring to calm myself down during an anxiety attack. I even got a puppy and registered him as an Emotional Support Animal. I never thought that an animal could have such an influence on me and my feelings.

Self-harm is glorified in today's society. It is not taken seriously. People romanticize self-harm, myself included at one point, and think that it's a beautiful thing. Most don't realize that it's actually painful, messy, and demoralizing. After my battle with self-harm, I see it for what it truly is: unhealthy, scars, and a lifetime of regret. Overcoming self-harm is not easy, but it is possible. If surrounded by the right people who motivate you to be better, you can overcome your battles too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

49365
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

31416
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955083
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180324
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments