Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Basically it means that I have to ask people to repeat themselves constantly and I'm stuck drinking caffeine free drinks for the rest of my life. At age six I was diagnosed with what my doctor described as "ADHD with an emphasis on inattention". Basically what that means is that I struggle more with my focus and attention than I do with being hyper, though I still deal with both. For as long as I can remember I've always felt like an outsider. No one outside of my family really understood me and that made making friends difficult. In elementary and middle school my classmates didn't really get that I just didn't operate the same way they did. All they knew was that I was different or "weird", so most of them didn't bother to get to know me. Now, don't get me wrong, I had friends. It just took me longer to make those friends and until high school I didn't have REAL friends. I didn't have the loyal friends that actually cared and wanted to see me outside of school. Once I hit high school however, I found true friends that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Although my friends didn't understand every detail of my struggle with ADHD, they knew a little bit from watching me through the years. However, there was still a lot that I normally didn't share about my life with ADHD. I recently discovered that most people who don't have ADHD or even know someone who does, have no idea just how life-altering this disorder can really be. I've become more open with my struggles because I finally realized that ADHD is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm more than willing to talk about it now because I feel like just maybe my story will help someone else who may be struggling themselves. So here are just a few things that I have dealt with and some I still deal with today from having Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.
In first grade I was diagnosed with ADHD and we began the process of finding an ADHD medication that worked for me. ADHD medications like many other types of medications, come in many different forms. Each medication is different and can have different effects as well as side effects on each patient. The first medication that I tried immediately made me extremely aggressive. I was angry at everything, and sometimes I even got violent when things didn't go my way. Needless to say, that medication didn't last long. Then the next one made me almost a zombie. This medication worked to help me focus and get my school work done, but it drained my personality and made me completely lethargic. Another medication we tried worked fairly well and I actually kept this one until high school. The only real draw back to this one was that it wore off right as school ended so it was always a struggle to get my homework done after school. It became so difficult that in my freshman year of high school I took a second pill after school to get me through band practice and homework. Finally after trying countIess medication, I was introduced to a new ADHD medication that came in the form of a patch during my sophomore year of high school. All I had to do was put the patch on my hip in the morning and the medication stayed in my system until I took it off that night. For the first time since my diagnosis I actually felt like I was in control. I could just be me and not worry about when my medication was going to wear off. Now I've been on this patch for the past five years and this year my insurance has decided not to cover them anymore. Five years of feeling like I had finally found something that works and now I can't afford it anymore. So at nineteen, almost twenty, I'm going to have to start this process all over again.
Another struggle would be what I like to call my "motor mouth". One part of ADHD is that my brain often runs too fast for my mouth to keep up, causing me to talk inhumanly fast and stumble over my words. I am constantly having people tell me to slow down or repeat myself because I was talking so fast. Most people just find it funny, however I have had some who get annoyed with me and fuss about it. While I know it must be frustrating to have to ask me to slow down, what they don't understand is how frustrating it is to be fussed at for something I have no control of. Trust me, I know how irritating it is to have to ask others to repeat themselves. Often times I have to do just that because I accidentally lose focus and miss half the conversation. Regardless, there is no need to get upset with me. Clearly I'm not doing it intentionally.
Next let's discuss a talent that I have never and will never possess. The ability some people have to multitask. It has always amazed me. I can barely focus on eating my ramen noodles before they go cold, much less watching TV while doing homework and eating my noodles. I will never understand how people can focus on more than one thing at a time. I can only assume that it is some sort of witchcraft that a mere muggle such as myself will never understand.
Finally, maybe one of the biggest struggles I have dealing with ADHD is not being able to finish the simplest of tasks. It's like every time I start on something I end up getting distracted by something and I never fin-
