While working retail is notoriously frustrating, there's something extra shocking about the ignorance that ladies who work at hardware stores endure. I'm talking about stores like Lowe's, Home Depot, Menards, and Ace. I only wish I were making this stuff up.

For starters, let's talk about the appropriate conversation. It is never, ever okay to walk up to an employee and make a remark about the "bling" on their booty. In a single shift, I had both men and women make comments about a new pair of jeans I was wearing. My first thought was great now I know you've been staring at my ass. As if I thought this couldn't get any more awkward. They even insinuated that I had to be looking for such comments since I chose to wear that particular pair of jeans to work. Nope. Not really. I dress in what makes me happy and comfortable. So let's make a deal, I won't comment on your penis pouch and you'll leave my jeans out of the conversation. K? K.

Side note: your innuendos are not funny or even original. We get it. We sell wood here. We wrap wood. Good one. Now, get on with your single self.

Also, adjectives matter. When you walk up to me and say that the woman working in hardware said I could, I'll ask which woman. At this point, I'm looking for a name. If you were so enveloped in yourself that you forgot you could read a name tag, then give me a height or hair color. Don't say the big girl, the dike, or the bitch, because now I hate you.

Keep in mind that we're trying to help you! We don't want to prolong this interaction with you either. I promise. So when you need help getting something off of the shelf or loading it into your car, please spare me the look of horror. Yes, I'm a lady. Yes, I'm going to lift this for you. No, you don't have to pretend you had shoulder surgery last week.

I swear customers will tell me all day that if I'm the only one to load it for them, then they'll just do it themselves. However, no one blinks an eye when a guy of any kind appears for loading assistance. People, take a seat. You may even need a deep breath. Are you ready for this? My sex doesn't make me weak.

You know what else doesn't make me weak? Crying. This is to all of you who think it's cute to yell at people in customer service. Know that you've just caused a huge scene, and I'm embarrassed for you. Honestly, though, who raised you? I need to sit down with your momma and talk to her about the fact that you never grew out of your toddler temper tantrums.

And if my eyes happen to get glossy during this altercation, it's not because you hurt my feelings. It's because I'm so frustrated that I can't punch you in the face without losing my job.

Lastly, my biggest personal pet peeve is when someone comes up to me and asks me to find them a man that they can talk to. Unacceptable. I don't go to the doctor's office or the nail salon and request a woman's help. I go with whoever seems like they know what they're doing. And you know what? Genitals have nothing to do with it. If I don't know the answer, then I'll find you someone who does. But don't look at me like I'm crazy when I answer your question, and then nod and smile when the guy standing next to me gives you the same information. Note that ladies and men alike are guilty of being this ignorant.

Perhaps, all a lady working at a hardware store really wants you to know is that you should first recognize her as a fellow human being who deserve the same respect as you do.