Let me get one thing straight: when a group of girls go out, it is not to meet guys. No, we didn’t fall from heaven, and your sweater is made of cotton, not boyfriend material. Let me reiterate: we go out for ourselves. We go out to have fun, dance, look cute, have a few drinks, and take lots of pictures. And it’s hard work.
Struggle 1: Getting Ready.
Before you even go out, you have the dreaded task of getting ready. First, you have to discuss with your girlfriends on, a scale of Beyoncé to Michelle, how fancy you’re dressing for the night. Once you finally decide on the level of bootyliciousness, you have to figure out what you’re actually going to wear. You have to say goodbye to your clean bedroom and organized closet and begin the hours-long process of finding an outfit that suits you. Unsurprisingly, you realize that the outfit that was perfect five minutes ago is no longer acceptable and you have a mini-break down for another half hour, go through twenty more outfits, and then once again put on the first outfit because it actually did make your butt look good.
Struggle 2: Mastering the Drinks
Everybody likes a good pregame, and if you’re getting ready in a group, the pregame starts as soon as the eye make up is finished (because nobody likes an eyeliner pencil stabbed into their eye). However, you can’t get too tipsy or you’ll end up not making it out, and you can’t be too sober or all the drunk people will annoy you. Also, it’s inevitable that all the girls in your group like a different drink. So when you’re trying to take shots of Bacardi 151, one friend is bonging a bottle of wine and the other is sipping a Rumchata on ice. Hopefully you all know your tolerance and can make sure you all leave the house on the same level, and with any luck that level is between graceful ballerina and newborn giraffe.
Struggle 3: Dancing
95 percent of the time, you are not a good dancer. It’s a fact. Even though you feel like you’re getting down low with your bad self and looking like Rihanna, you look more like Drake. And not the good Drake. The “Hotline Bling” viral GIF Drake. Or your dad when he chaperoned your eighth grade dance. With that said, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance. You simply need to embrace that flailing around the dance floor is your signature move and instead of focusing on looking good, focus on not injuring yourself.
Struggle 4: Ditching the Dudes
There’s always the unavoidable part(s) of the night where you have to deal with people coming up to you and your group, trying to talk to or dance with one of the girls. Obviously we gauge our reaction based on how aggressive the guy is and it can be anything from a polite “no thank you” to a large rant filled with words that would bring dishonor to your family. Furthermore, if any man isn’t aware that it’s rude to start gyrating against you, they deserve the elbow to the spleen that they will undoubtedly receive. Also, let me warn you: everyone looks good in a strobe light. Do not trust the strobe light. It’s worse than beer goggles. Sure, the guy you’re dancing with looks great when the strobe is blinding you, but once the lights turn off, Channing Tatum turns into Jonah Hill. Thankfully, the upside of having your ex’s phone number engraved in your brain is being able to give it to Mr. Jäger Breath.
Struggle 5: Going Home
This is the final hurdle to your warm, comfy bed. However, the time between the bar and your bed has the ability to make or break your entire night. First, you have to find a ride. If you have a really good friend who stayed in, they’re obviously you’re ideal driver. Uber is of course another good option, but it’s a little harder to convince them to go through the Taco Bell drive-thru. Finally, after consuming all of the food you can find in approximately 30 seconds, you’re at home and ready to pass out into a food and booze-induced coma.
So although there are a few struggles going out with girlfriends, they are by far the best nights of all. College is meant for spending time with friends, and no one will have your back (or hold your hair) quite like your best friends.
