Opening up to someone is probably one of the hardest things anyone can do. You willingly open up parts of yourself that make you vulnerable, because you believe whole-heartedly that you can reveal yourself fully to another person without being judged or misunderstood. From the start I am not willing to open up about anything. It could be someone I've known for five minutes, or five years. The thought of them knowing my weaknesses and vulnerabilities puts me on edge. Please don't let this offend you. It's not that I don't trust you, but I can't put myself in a position where I know that I could possibly get hurt one day.
Large crowds is another worry constantly flowing through my mind. The moment I walk into a room, I look around at all my exit options, or places to go where I can be secluded if I need to relax. When I'm in a large crowd, those options minimize. I will get quiet, and I will fidget nervously because I'll feel like everyone eyes are on me, silently judging. Every laugh, every glance, will have me on edge. If you notice me in this state, please don't bring attention to it. That will only make matters worse for me. Silently and subtly try and comfort me. It will eventually pass, and I will be okay.
Something else that can spark my anxiety is when a situation appears that I don't have control of. As silly as it sounds, having complete control and being aware of a situation helps keep me grounded. Once that control is taken away, my brain goes haywire. I start thinking of all these possible situations that could happen, and I can't avoid them. I know the situations I can come up with can be completely insane, but I can't stop myself from getting worked up about it.
It's the smallest things that can set anxiety off, and everybody's different. Just because it may seem small to you, does not mean its small to somebody else. Just because you may not understand anxiety, doesn't mean it's not real. People are battling it every day of their lives and need to know they aren't alone.
