Thanksgiving means many things to many people. The traditional purpose of Thanksgiving is to literally give thanks alongside family and friends. However, there are those individuals who see the holiday as an opportunity to show up and show out. This is an honest narrative written from the view point of a struggling college student...
Happy Thanksgiving! It is truly an honor to once again be graced with your presence. I can’t wait to force small talk in the kitchen, but I am so looking forward to our game of 20 questions at the dinner table. I feel the need to preface any and all inquiries with a brief statement concerning my status as a single college student. As I approach optimal childbearing age, I find myself content with being a whatchamacallit, “lonely spinster,” for the rest of my life. My mom did an excellent job exposing me to the dangers of teen pregnancy with the help of MTV. Don’t you worry your pretty little mind, my ovaries are still in tact shall I decide to have kids someday… in the very distant future. Contrary to popular belief, the multitude of ear piercings and black nails are not signs of rebellion. Let me enjoy my last few months of teen angst while I still can.
I am the loudest and proudest member of the fightin' Texas Aggie class of 2019 (A-A-A-A-A). However, I can't quite get my transcript to reflect the sophomore wildcat. As a conservative political science major, I blame the absence of a 4.0 on my liberal professors. No hard feelings, I understand they're going through a lot right now; the emotional trauma associated with Hillary losing the presidential election must have hit them like a freight train. I get it, but I'm a survivor of the Obama administration- you'll live. Hey, if the pressure of working for a living becomes far too great, I hear Canada is lovely this time of year.
I'd like to thank you for coming and I look forward to seeing you at Christmas. I appreciate your love and support on Facebook even though I've done nothing worth mentioning in my mother's weekly updates. I have hope for the future and who knows, maybe I'll graduate or maybe I'll drop out at the end of the semester; the possibilities are endless.
