Ten days ago, I had reconstructive double jaw surgery. Basically, it's a three hour procedure to break apart the upper and lower jaw, rearrange your bones, and if needed, insert metal plates and screws in your face. Rather than going into the specifics of the 25,000-dollar surgery (which I had to pay out of pocket), or the trials of recovery (of which there are many), this is about something I was not expecting; the response to my surgery.

I am not, at least when it comes to procedures, a spur of the moment kind of person. I always knew there was something wrong with my jaw, and it wasn't until I went to right dentist that I knew I could fix it. Once I realized I could have a normal life, I spent the next year preparing for this surgery; from getting braces, reading every jaw recovery blog, to even watching the surgery videos. I knew what this surgery entailed, but I did not know people would react so weirdly to my decision. I didn't know people would insert themselves into my life and tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my face.

I've always known there was a stigma around cosmetic surgery, and if I had gotten something like breast augmentation, then I would’ve expected discouragement. However, this was not a cosmetic surgery! From the age of 12 and on, I’d had a constant migraine. I tried everything from the natural route to bringing back all types of weird pills from Mexico. Little did I know it was from jaw tension and the pinching of the nerves. Then I got braces for my crooked teeth…that stayed on until I was 15. It’s not that my teeth were that severe, but no one realized it was the entire base of my face that was the problem. Age 15 is also when I started to notice my TMJ. My face would pop, crack, and lock, and my teeth were actually wearing down little by little every time chewed; yet I thought this was normal. As the years passed my TMJ got gradually worse as did my facial asymmetry. Obviously, if your bones grow crooked, your face will be crooked. I won’t even get into the life time of insecurity of having a deformed face and feeling like there’s no solution. But then, at the age of 17, I went to a new orthodontist, for a toothache of all things, and he opened up a world of possibility. From my X rays and various molds, anyone could see there was too much bone on one side of my face, and not enough bone on the other and that the roots of my teeth didn’t match my jaw at all. So, I got back into braces (willingly this time) to try to fix my roots as much as possible before the surgery. Not only would I be able to talk and chew and just live comfortably, it would also fix my facial asymmetry.

Now, I think I’ve proven my point that this surgery is more than just about gaining confidence. It’s simply about wanting a better quality of life. Of course my immediate family understood and even paid for the surgery, but responses from distant people remained the same: “I would never choose to do that.” “Couldn’t you have just lived with it?” “Is this something you even really wanted? You’re not regretting it?” “I should have that surgery too, but I don’t think it’s worth all the pain.” “If this doesn’t make you feel better about yourself, I don’t know what will.”

This was not some choice. This was unavoidable. No, I couldn’t have just lived with it. In fact, if I had put this off, there’s a chance my teeth and jaw would be completely worn down. No thank you. No, I did not want this. I would have much rather have just been born with a functional jaw than have 80 percent of the bones in my face broken. No, I do not regret this. It’s what’s best for my health and I would’ve regretted not getting it. I didn’t want to live with pain and inconvenience my entire life. Six months of pain versus a life time. You do the math. And I know this will make me feel better about myself. I’m not saying this is what I need to be beautiful, or that I will have the perfect face, or smile, or that I won’t have any insecurities, but it will help. It may not be pretty at first, but I know it's worth it. Not only do I get the functioning body I need, but the confidence that I want. Why should anyone be bothered by that? Why should anyone question that? Why should anyone look at me like some superficial person just because I’m blessed enough and courageous enough to do what’s best for me?

That is what is so astounding to me. I make my case, explain myself when I shouldn’t have to, provide X-rays and the mountains of paperwork of proof, and I still get unenthused responses. So, I can only imagine what people who do get cosmetic surgery have to go through. Just because a surgery may change my appearance doesn’t mean it changes me. Other people do just as much to change their appearance. People dye their hair, they contour with so much make up they completely change the shape of their face, they wear colored contacts, they dress in ways to emphasize their assets and hide their worst features. So, how can people be so skeptical and hypocritical when they do so much to change themselves without surgery?

In my case, it was medical, but honestly who cares? Even if I had just wanted to look good and feel good, people still should be supportive because I am the one who has to live this life. I know what’s best for me.

You know what’s best for you too, so if you need something, or just really want something – go after it. I’m not saying change everything about yourself because I truly believe everyone has something that makes them beautiful. I still believe we should all do our best to love ourselves for who we are, and not just what we look like. I’m just saying as long as you want something for you, not for anyone else, but just you…then you shouldn’t let what others think or say be a factor in your decision making process. You are in charge of your own happiness, so if you need to make a change, whether it be physical, spiritual, or personality wise – don’t hesitate. It’s your life. Live it how you want it.