Being in a show can be one of the most magical experiences. You dedicate your life to the rehearsals! However, it’s hard not to begin to fall for one of your cast members when you’re both spending so much time together. Tech week can especially be a major facilitator in developing a crush.

The stages of developing a crush on your cast mate can be slightly different in the theater world. Crushes develop in a shorter time span and feel more intense when you’re spending at least four hours a day with them. Also, we theater people tend to be a bit crazy with the amounts of emotion we have, and so when you have two people with a lot of emotion, it can be an extremely passionate experience.

Here is the progression of developing a crush on a castmate or a crush, in general:

The Friendly Chatter.

There are so many pockets of downtime during rehearsals and especially during tech week. Opportunities for conversations are an abundant commodity and the moments of free time are an excellent catalyst in getting to know a castmate.

The Gradual Osmosis.

This happens once you’ve reached a higher level of emotional intimacy, due to all those earlier random conversations. Without realizing it, you begin to watch them with a keen eye when they’re called on stage. You find your gaze wandering over to them in the dressing room. You begin to place yourself near them in order to create opportunity for another conversation.

The Infection.

Images of them constantly infect your mind and you find it much more difficult to focus on your scene and characterization. You think less about how you can fully embody your character and more about how your crush perceives you while you deliver each line.

The Epiphany.

There comes a point when you make the connection. You finally put two and two together and realize you have developed a crush on this person.

The Calculation.

Once you realize you have a crush you begin to ponder if they may feel the same way about you. You begin to overly assess every conversation, hand brush, eye contact, and shared moment your mind can remember. You go home and make sure you’re on incognito before you embarrassingly begin to look up things such as “How can you tell if a guy likes you?”

The Frustration.

You overthink everything and begin to get annoyed at yourself for letting them distract your mind from rehearsals


This is when the frustration of distraction has gotten to the point where you realize something has to change. So you do one final assessment and either make a move or forget about the whole thing.

Theater crushes can be incredibly fun, as they provide your mind with an emotional roller coaster, but try not to let the anxiety of the crush ruin your love of the theater. The two can complement each other without hindering the other!