It's that time of the semester, folks. With midterm grades coming out so soon, exams and papers due are at an all-time semester high. Here's some of the stages of the worst times of the year:
Cry
Let's be real, you probably have done this at least once earlier this semester. That's all part of the college academia experience. But this cry, this cry will consist of dry-heaving, dying-cow sounds. My suggestion is for you to go in your car or find the most hidden part of your campus and let it all out. You don't need people to see you in that state of ratchetness.
Eat
"I've eaten so well all semester!" is what you won't think after the treacherous 1-2 week period of midterms. Suddenly, your apples become quick trips to Taco Bell, your salads become obnoxious amounts of chocolate ("Cocoa beans come from a tree so it's technically salad"), and all that weight you lost? The extra pounds will welcome you back with open arms and several plates of food that are grease-filled and fast-food certified.
Consider Your Options
I can't tell you how many times I've thought about switching my B.S. degree to a M.R.S. degree. Whether you are considering the stereotypical stripper/drug dealer route or considering having a less strenuous career as a professional Netflix-watcher, the options will excite you in ways no midterm can.
Call Home
After considering all of your options, you are overwhelmed, and who's not better than your parents to complain about your midterms? They will give you the T.L.C. that you need with agreeing to every feeling you are having and providing words like "You are going to do well, just believe in yourself!" After having this wonderful conversation with your parents, the warm fuzzies in your heart will reside until you think of all of the work you still have to do.
Go on Facebook
Because why not distract yourself from all of the pain and misery midterms bring? Facebook reminds us all that there is always a productive way to procrastinate: looking at your mother's friend's brother's son that you have never met's page.
And Go on Twitter. And Instagram. Also, Pinterest a While Since You Are Already on the Internet. You Know What You Haven't Checked In a Long Time? Tumblr.
Realize What You Are Doing and Stop
You will hate what you've done. You have promptly wasted 3 hours and you haven't written even a paragraph of that paper that's due tomorrow. You hurriedly finish the paper only to realize you haven't even studied at all that day for any of your exams.
Repeat Steps 1-7 Every Day
Do you look like the living dead once midterms are over with? Yes, yes you do. Is your GPA up to your standards? Probably not. But it's all okay! You will make it through this difficult time in your life. We all will, so here's to surviving another semester with the worst week ever.
