We meet people and we date and for what purpose?

LOVE.

But not ordinary love. No, we want extraordinary love. The love that starts with a spark and eventually, (if extraordinary), will keep burning until it becomes a fire. A fire extinguishable by nothing. That's the love we want and we won't accept anything less. But that's easier said than done.

Time and time again, we hear of the “spark”. We’ve seen it happen in every romantic comedy maybe ever. This is probably why we have come to expect it now when entering a new relationship. And what exactly is it? The "spark"?

That amazing surge of energy you get throughout your body when you finally get that first kiss from your special someone. And yes, special. They need to be special. Special, because the “spark” ceases to exist otherwise.

When we meet someone, the first thing we are attracted to is looks. It can be their eyes, their smile, their hair, etc. The second thing, (if things are progressing in your favor), is personality. Personality is crucial. As you get to know someone, their true colors come out, some faster than others. But pay attention. Do you like what you see? If you even hesitated, get out. But there are other things that seem like redeemable qualities? Right? Wrong.

I met a guy a party once. Boy sees girl, girl sees boy, eye contact is held, smiles are shared. The night goes on; boy comes up to girl and introduces himself and the rest is history. So sure, he was cute and I was pretty into him, time goes on and I get to know him more and there were things that I just wasn't a fan of. For one, tattoos. He had way too many tattoos. Sleeves. But even still I told myself, “but he cleans up nice”. Okay…

Then came the potty mouth. Which in this day and age I know means nothing. We all say curse words here and there and I understand that. It’s rare to meet someone who doesn’t, (I don’t). But this was over the top. F-bombs literally every other word. Is this someone I’d want to bring home to mom, dad, and brothers? Definitely not. But still, I told myself, “You can just let him know beforehand to cool it with the language”. Problem solved.

Or so I thought, one night, when we were hanging out - this is a good time to interject and tell you he was your typical “bad boy”- we were talking and he made a comment somewhere along the lines of “ruining me”. Uhmm, eww? Basically, I was a goodie good and he was more than excited to change that. What kind of person gets excited about that? What was wrong with the way I was? Answer: Nothing.

Shortly after, I started to feel suffocated. He was the type that needed to talk all the time, gave an overwhelming amount of compliments, and wanted to be together all the time. Clingy. I don't do clingy. I can’t. It was too much. This was where I drew the line. It was time to abort mission. So I did.

I probably didn't handle things the best way. I slowly stopped replying and answering calls until it all stopped, (try and be better than I was). But he’s fine, he moved on eventually. I just didn't feel that spark with him. But then again, he wasn't special. The special ones don't make you second guess whether they're special or not. They just are, and you won’t be able to put into words why.

So please, wait for special. Great things happen when you don’t force them. You need to take your time, and if that means “on to the next one”, and that ends up meaning a dry spell for a year, let it be. Don't settle when there’s something better waiting for you. You just need to have a little patience and faith. The best things happen when you aren't searching for them. Believe me.

Often times, they walk into your life and you won’t even recognize the impact until you look back and realize what an impression they made the first day your eyes met. The “spark” does exist.

And when you find it, you’ll never want to let it die. It will change you, some would say “ruin” you, but you won’t mind. Suddenly talking to someone all day every day excites you and never seems like enough. Clingy? What is that even? Flaws? What flaws? Too many compliments? Is that even thing? With the right person, you’ll experience everything you've ever imagined and more and you will never get your fill.