Long-distance relationships are risky business. You've heard it all before. The warnings and tales of how, "it never works out." For as long as I can remember, the only advice I've ever received on long distance relationships was not to bother with them. Now I'm not a relationship expert by any means, but my last three serious relationships were all long distance at some point and I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, if you're with the right person, it can be a great thing!
Long-distance allows you and your S.O. to have independent lives separate from one another, while still being able to enjoy each other's company when you're together again. The time spent apart makes you appreciate your time spent together so much more. Here are my tips and tricks to making your long-distance relationship the one that sticks!
1. Trust
This is absolutely the most important part of any relationship in general. If you're with someone you don't trust 150%, then you're with the wrong person. Long-distance relationships rely heavily on trust and honesty. You have to understand that whether you're S.O. is two hours away or two states away, if you're living apart, they're going to have a life without you, and you have to be able to trust their feelings for you. Set a guideline in your relationship saying that you won't do anything apart from each other that you wouldn't do in front of each other. This sets boundaries without making your partner feel like you're trying to control them!
2. Communication
Maintaining a strong communicative connection with your special someone is difficult enough, regardless of living separate from one another. If you throw distance into the equation, it becomes 10x harder. You have to make it a point to have a meaningful conversation with one another, every single day. Just because you can't physically be together every day doesn't mean you can't uphold your conversational skills. Make it a priority to have a few FaceTime dates a week, or a text each day. It's imperative to make your boyfriend/girlfriend feel important to you on a regular basis.
3. Set a Limit For Time Spent Apart
This one can be hard to keep up with but if you make it a priority, it'll only make your relationship stronger. Be realistic, though! If you and your partner live a few states from one another, maybe decide you won't go more than three months without seeing each other. If you only live a few hours apart, perhaps don't go more than a few weeks without seeing each other. This is one of those easier said than done things but if you truly care about your special person then making time to see them should be a top priority anyway!
4. Make the Most of Time Spent Together
It may seem a little obvious, but sometimes it can be just as easy using time spent together to argue about things rather than just enjoying each other's company. Try not to get hung up on the little things that may lead to an argument. Allow yourself to let go of the little annoyances and struggles of everyday relationships and have fun with the little bit of time you have together!
5. Never Argue Through Text
No good can come from an argument through text! It totally robs you of being able to communicate your true feelings. They can't hear the tone of your voice. They can't see the expression on your face. Every relationship has arguments, you're just better off settling things face to face rather than text to text. It just won't be a healthy or constructive conversation. If you can, call them or FaceTime them to get a more authentic interaction.
6. Ignore the Doubters
There will be a lot of naysayers telling you not to bother with your long-distance love. They'll tell you how it never works out and how you're just wasting your time on someone you barely see. The reality of the matter is that every situation is different, and if you feel as though your relationship has what it takes to withstand the struggles of long-distance, then, by all means, make it happen! Prove them wrong! Only you and your significant other know what your relationship is capable of.
