All hearts get broken, whether it's from the loss of loved ones, the distance of someone close, or unreturned affection of a crush. The absence of someone who meant so much can leave you feeling empty, and that something is missing. Their vacant presence used to fill your life with joy and pleasure, but now leaves you depressed and lost.
My grandma, who was my also my best friend and role model, passed away from breast cancer almost two years ago, and my heart still has a gaping hole I've yet to fill. The memories I have can never be replaced or replicated. I've always thought that only you should be in charge of your happiness, and other may contribute, but never take away from the joy you possess. But every once in a while you find a friend that your spirit molds with, and they only ever produce good for you. Sort of like a platonic soul mate. Spending time with them is like a break from the real world, and sometimes all you crave is their laughter. Many people go through their lives and never truly find their "person," while others don't give enough appreciation and may lose the best thing that ever happened to them.
Looking back I am so grateful to have had the time that I did with the most amazing woman in my life, and it was a privilege for me to have known her, let alone be her granddaughter. With age comes maturity, and maturity, wisdom. Everyone has a person they tell everything to, and they turn to for advice. My grandma was that person, but now she's gone. Accept the loss, experience the pain, and adjust to your new life.
Instead of moping around in my grief, I chose to remember the good times. Trips to the museum and the symphony. Ice cream dates, and walking Cruiser (her beagle) through the park every day. Playing the piano. Yosemite and Hawaii. These things might mean nothing to you, but to me, they are some of the best memories in my life. Special memories with those we love the most are what make our lives have meaning. By focusing on the good, and not the grief, I cry happy tears instead of dreary sobs. Yes, my heart aches from time to time, and no one will fill her place, but I choose to be grateful for the time I had with her and the wisdom she passed down to me.
Through our lives people will come and go, some are reliable and constant while other are flaky and undependable. Sadly we can't control who stay and who leaves, but that's the exciting part of meeting new people; the unknown outcome of your paths. The loss may break your heart, but in the end, the love you experienced will heal it.
