One of the most rewarding aspects of being in college is the diversity of individuals whom you happen upon. When handed the chance to escape your hometown and explore the unknown depths known as the real world, what you find is a melting pot of different kinds of people, each with their own story to tell.
While of course it would be impossible to categorize an entire age group of people, I recently developed a hypothesis that I call "The College Dwarf Analogy." Based on extensive research, my team and I (okay fine, just me) found outstanding evidence that supports the following hypothesis: each dwarf from Snow White represents a different kind of college student.
Perhaps for years we have misinterpreted "hi ho" as a cheerful hum when it was meant to be a call to action. Like dwarves, it’s always off to work we go. And to be quite honest, I've seen my fair share of high ho's lurking around at parties.
Anyway, here is the College Dwarf Analogy fully explained.
Sleepy
"Ain't no nap long enough." -Marvin Gaye, I think.
This is the person that practices nap time as their religion. Whether it’s a roommate, a dear friend, or just a drowsy peer sleeping in class, Sleepy is a character who you’re bound to encounter on campus. They are likely to gravitate towards Netflix and will not be seen before 2:00pm on a Sunday.
Sneezy
Mono, flu, pink eye… you name it, they’ve contracted it. Most likely to be the annoying sniffler in class, the Sneezy’s of campus somehow always manage to fall ill. Are they addicted to DayQuil? Do they secretly enjoy the tangible misery that is contained within the University Health Center? Undetermined. Regardless, rest wary when mingling with a Sneezy prototype. Their immediate five meter radius is a blanket of toxicity.
Dopey
Dopey’s are slightly immature, slightly oblivious, and fully fun. A great person to quench your thirst with on a thirsty Thursday. Their carefree attitude sometimes gets them into trouble, but you won’t find a person with a more optimistic view of life. With a positive mindset and a full heart, the “Dopey” personality type is sure to make you smile.
Grumpy
This is the kind of college student who quite literally needs a chill pill. Grumpy can take the form of: an angry RA, an irritable student cramming in the library, a person who has had a lot to drink and can’t find a ride home, etc. We’ve all been there. A group project meeting is a good place to find a Grumpy, or several. (Disclaimer: pregaming group project meetings evidently is the only salvation to your sanity. You didn’t hear it from me). Grumpys’ harmless intentions are nine out of 10 times expressed as irritation. You do not want to be near this person when the Starbucks barista gets their order wrong.
Doc
Everybody has a Doc in their life. When things get rough, or you just need someone to look to as a role model, a Doc will always be there. They are hard-working and wise beyond their years. This is a worthwhile person to have in your life. If you’re willing to listen, they always have something of value to share with the world.
Bashful
Commonly known as: The Freshman. This is someone who's still adjusting to their independence. They are shy and reserved, best demonstrated by the habitual hiding in the back of the classroom and pretending to be invisible. Their introversion is really quite adorable. At the same time, you sort of feel like slapping them.
Happy
Happy is kind of like Dopey, but a little more responsible and better at communicating. Put it simply, these are the people that love life, and are good at it. Good grades, highly involved, they seem to have it all figured out. They exude confidence, and will never be found suffering from FOMO. We could definitely use a few more Happy’s in the world.
So there you have it, the College Dwarf Analogy. I challenge you to think of a peer that does not fit into one of these seven fundamental personality types. Perhaps this new interpretation of the Disney classic is a ground-breaking revelation that will forever change the face of college. Or not. Either way, which one are you?
