Today my parents will celebrate their 21 year wedding anniversary. I couldn't be more luckier to have the parents I was blessed with. In this day and age, we see many more relationships fail than last. So twenty one years is something to be proud of. As I've grown up, I've tried to understand what makes my parent's relationship work in hopes of applying their methods to my own life. Of my 18 years spent with them, this is what I've learned:
Compromise.
When two people get married, you become one person in a sense. Your needs are now their needs. Their dreams are now your dreams. But somewhere along the way, your wants will clash. This is inevitable. My parents always find the way to compromise so that at one point each person's needs are met. One night it's burgers and hot dogs for dinner. The next it's chicken salad. One stack of our CDs holds Bruce Springsteen and U2. The other stack is stocked with James Taylor. One shelf in the fridge is dedicated to Pepsi, the other Coke. Such little things, but yet so important in making them individuals. By compromising, my parents are able to remain who they are but at the same time they are able to become one.
Communication.
Even the person you love the most cannot read your mind. That is why communication is key to a good relationship. My parents always communicate when one of them needs something, instead of playing games around what they really want. With good communication skills comes the ending of games that so often lead to the downfall of relationships.
The ability to laugh.
With three kids to two parents come many mess ups and imperfections. It's hard to make the whole house happy everywhere all the time. But my parents do a great job at it. The reason for this is they possess the ability to laugh at all that comes with having a family. When they mess up they move on and try better next time. Sometimes all it takes is a simple laugh to make all right.
Belief.
There is no doubt in my dad's mind that my mom can accomplish anything she puts her mind to. There is no doubt in my mom's mind that my dad can accomplish anything he puts his mind to. My parents believe in each other and I believe this keeps their spark alive. They are each other's biggest fans in a world that likes to tear people down.
No relationship is perfect, but the right relationship knows how to overlook imperfections. These are just four of the many components I think have been essential to my parent's relationship and how they cope with each other's imperfections. The ability to find room for each person's needs, communicate when something needs to be done, laughing when things go wrong, and supporting each other to get things right, are just a small part of the magic that has lasted twenty one years for my parents.
