Whether its forgiving the friend that dates your ex, forgiving the girl that stole some of your clothes, or forgiving someone who betrayed your complete trust, no matter the situation forgiving is hard. The Bible tells us we need to forgive others so that our Heavenly father can forgive us. The great thing about God is he is always willing to forgive us no matter the size of our sin. Unfortunately we as humans are not as merciful on one another.

Forgiving others has always been one of the greatest trials I have faced. I have always seen forgiveness as a get out of jail free card. It made me feel as those who had done me wrong had their slate wiped clean and they could resume living in the spot they held in my life. To me forgiveness meant everything went back to normal, it pardoned a persons actions and simply gave them the chance to do it again if they wanted to. Not all people think this way, many are good at forgiveness and once they have forgiven someone they can continue on with their lives and maintain a relationship with that person. We all mess up and we all deserve forgiveness, so why is it so hard to give?

It took me 21 years but I have finally found a way to understand and allow my self to forgive. The key is so simple and something to remember when I feel I can't forgive someone or something.

Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.

Reconciliation to me has always seemed to be linked to forgiveness. I felt that you could not do one without the other. How wrong I was. The next time you find something someone has done to you difficult to forgive remember that forgiveness does not allow them their spot back in your life.

Give yourself the freedom forgiveness gives you. Holding a grudge hurts no one but yourself. Often times you hear forgive and forget, sometimes you should not forget the things someone has done to you. You should forgive them but you do not have to forget and make amends. If you can reconcile then do, it is a good thing. We make mistakes, we are human, we all deserve to be shown mercy at times. If that is not something you can do then the least you can do is forgive.