I miss you.

This is the second Christmas without you.

When you passed away two years ago, we were all told that the second year would be the hardest year to get through. The first year you're still trying to accept; the second year is where it all hits you for a second time around.

This second Christmas has become the hardest to get through. When I'm writing out Christmas cards I still want to add your name to that card. When I'm gift shopping I still want to find the perfect gift for you. When I'm at home baking cookies, I still want to bake things that you would enjoy when you would come to visit.

I try to hide it, but me missing you has really taken a toll on my Christmas spirit this year. So many times I just want to call you up, but I can't. So many times I want to tell you about school, or somewhere that I travelled over the weekend, but I know that's not possible.

It's hard on all of us this time of year. All of our family is gathering together, yet we still pray that maybe this is all just a dream that we haven't woken up from yet.

We still make sure to do things that you would enjoy. We still make the cookies that you liked and hand out gifts in the fashion that you liked. Even though you're not with us for this second Christmas, you're still with us in the things we do.

Just because you're no longer with us doesn't mean that we're no longer going to do the things you loved.

I miss you everyday and as the years continue to go in, I learn to appreciate more and more every person in my life. I'm lucky that is something you taught me how to do all those years ago.

Merry Christmas to you and know that we will always celebrate as if you were still here.