Choosing Ramapo was one of the greatest decisions of my life. With it, came an entirely new, eclectic group of friends, academic, and social guidance and new acquaintances I’d soon call sisters. The decision of joining a sorority came shortly after my decision to attend Ramapo. I have learned joining a sorority is a very personal decision, and definitely not for everyone, but has proven to be a great decision for me. There have been times where I questioned it, but even more times when I couldn’t see myself without my sisters. Becoming a sister has proven to be one of the best decisions I have made throughout my college career thus far, and it has been a segue for numerous opportunities involving socializing, networking and fundraising.
There are five sororities on my campus, all fabulous in their own individual ways. Although our letters are different, I know there is one thing every member of Greek life has heard or been told: that we "pay for our friends.”
As a child, I was involved in dance classes, soccer teams, clubs and other group events, as many other youngsters were. Guess what? I had to pay tuition for each of these activities. Granted, I was cultivating a skill in the process, but why is this any different than being in a sorority? Throughout each of my childhood activities, I was happy. I wasn’t forcing anyone to join in the activities in which I was engaged, but I still managed to establish relationships with people on my team as well as with people who weren’t. Like playing on a soccer team or dancing on an elite competition team, if someone chooses not to enroll, that is her respectable choice.
The same concept applies to the Greek community. If someone chooses to join or not to join Greek life on his or her campus, that is his or her choice. I happen to have many friends who are not involved in Greek life. Does that matter? Uh, not really. When people put down Greeks by saying that we "pay for our friends,” it becomes hard to respect that type of mentality.
To be honest, if I am paying for my friends, it has been one of the greatest purchases of my life. Not only did I make friends, I got a group of girls whom I can call sisters. I paid for these girls to support me when I needed it most. I paid for numerous opportunities, both social and academic, to become more involved on campus. I paid to raise money and spread awareness about different illnesses and charities on a national level. I paid to gain networking opportunities. Most importantly, I paid to be happy.
The cost of being involved in a frat or sorority doesn't only go to making friends. That money goes to improving and acquiring resources to allow our chapter and campus to grow. The time and financial investment has been entirely my choice, as well as other sisters' and brothers' choices. How and why that becomes anyone else’s business is beyond me. We are not hurting anyone by choosing to join a chapter, and we are not hurt by those who have not joined. Our mission is not to put others down, and we are capable of making friends without joining. All I am saying is before you accuse someone of buying friendships, think of the effect the Greek life investment has on you. It is impossible for an entity to have an effect on your life if you choose not to associate with that entity. If one has no intent or interest to join Greek life, the financial burden of "paying for friends" can neither harm nor benefit that individual.
