Rape. I’m not talking about the slang used to describe your favorite sport’s team completely demolishing their rival, or the word that is casually thrown around in today’s society to describe winning or being exceptionally good at something. Instead, I’m talking about rape and sexual assault— the forced vaginal, anal, or oral intercourse inflicted on someone every 107 seconds.
The word rape has often lost its meaning in today’s society. Some people view it as slang or a joke. When someone says he/she has been raped, people often think that the person is crying wolf. Take the “Mattress Project,” for example. A Columbia University student carried around a mattress until her rapist was charged (which is brave within itself). However, the worst part is how she originally was not believed about the rape by many of her peers, or the school’s administration. Our society has been so desensitized by the media, video games, books, news— almost everything— that rape is not only deemed as common, it is often ignored. News flash: violating another person is not OK and never will be.
In the United States alone, it is estimated that one in five women and one in 71 men will be sexually assaulted or raped in their lifetime. That means about 300,000 victims each year, with only about 37 percent of those cases being reported to police.
Because of these startling statistics, and the fact that I born as a female, I was made to take self-defense classes, to make sure I wasn’t wearing “revealing” clothes, or doing anything to provoke a sexual assault. Why did I have to take self-defense classes and wear things that covered my shoulders when the boys could wear whatever they wanted and play soccer instead? Did the fact that my shoulders were showing really make me look like I was “asking for it?"
Instead of just teaching girls and women how NOT to be raped, we should be teaching our men and boys how NOT to rape women. Most are taught that it isn’t OK to violate another person at a young age, but whether it is societal pressures or disrespect, rape still happens.
If you think about it, asking for consent is not as difficult as it seems. Both partners should want to engage in a sexual relationship and simply asking, “Can we have sex,” or, “Is it OK if I do this,” is all it takes to receive consent. If the answer is “no” from either partner, then both parties need to respect that decision.
In four out of five cases, someone the victim knows committed the rape. That means roughly non-strangers commit 82 percent of rapes. Asking for consent, whether you know the person or not, should come first when engaging physically.
This isn’t to say that men are never victims of sexual assault— they are, but it is more uncommon. The double standard for rape cases is noticeable and wrong. Whether it is a mom raping her son’s friend or a high school senior boy raping an underage girl, both incidents are considered a crime and should be punished— no matter the gender of the perpetrator.
This double standard is another result of today’s society desensitizing the word “rape.” Men and women are both victims of one of the most heinous crimes that can be committed. Rape isn’t a joke, and violating someone’s personal boundaries can make that person feel unsafe, insecure, scared, and a variety of other emotions.
Personally, I’m sick of the implications our society places on any form of rape or sexual assault. Why should my freedom to wear what I want be taken away simply because a man or woman cannot control their sexual urges? Why are less women convicted of rape when they can still violate someone’s personal and emotional boundaries?
We need to stop throwing around “rape” like it is meaningless. Instead, our society needs to take it seriously and put an end to the violation of personal boundaries. Together, we can put an end to implications of rape and sexual assault.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please call (800)-656-4673.
