Take a moment and think back to a time when you were really stressed. Perhaps you had a lot of homework or you had a huge test coming up. Now remember how you felt when you knew that the deadline was approaching for the assignment to be due or to take the test. You probably wanted the situation to be over. You probably felt nervous or worried, uncertain on how the outcome would play out. Will you finish all of the homework before it is due? Will you fail the test? All of these thoughts and feelings contributed to a singular state of being anxious.
Now imagine living with this feeling at every waking moment of your existence.
I have lived with generalized anxiety disorder for most of my life. That feeling of having an uncertain ending to an event comes forth every single day. Usually the really trivial things don’t bother me. I don’t get anxious when I don’t know what’s for dinner, though it could give me a small pang of worry. However, I do get anxious when the printer runs out of ink. As soon as something like that happens, my mind races at a million miles an hour. What if I can’t print my essay? Will the professor accept the assignment late? What will he/she think of me if I turn this assignment in late? Will they hate me?
It seems silly reading this on paper, but the rush of pain and concern is very real. This can happen multiple times per day and can even overlap. Anxiety can stem from a lot of different sources. I can’t speak for other people, but I know my anxiety stems from my perfectionist attitude. In short, if what I am doing is not “perfect,” then I get anxious. I start to think of the repercussions of not having the perfect paper or not having a perfect test score. My life needs to be perfect. As a result, I am always anxious.
Anxiety is bad in itself, but what’s worse are the panic attacks that stem from it. Panic attacks occur when anxiety becomes too much to handle. When I have a panic attack, my whole body freezes. My head and heart start racing at a thousand miles a minute and it feels like my knees will buckle beneath me. My hands start to sweat and I get really hot. Usually my attention is on a single object and I am not able to focus on anything else. These are my symptoms, but they can vary from person to person. I can only recall a few times when I have had a full on panic attack, but all of them are memorable due to their intense nature.
Generalized anxiety disorder affects more people than you would think. A lot of people are very good at hiding it. Like with depression, people can put on a smile and move on with their day. Those with the disorder will handle it in various ways. Some will keep themselves occupied or may shut down, it really depends on the person.
For those who have anxiety, there are ways to get help. Finding a therapist that you trust is a good first step. Talking out your worries with someone who is trained to guide you to a solution is very beneficial. In some cases they might prescribe you medication to help you take control of your anxiety. If you are unable to find a therapist, finding a friend or family member that will listen will also help. The worst thing you can do is keep the anxiety bottled up. If you do, someday you will burst and it will not be pretty.
