today i want to talk to you about the process of recovery from an eating disorder.

treatment is a journey, sometimes long, often hard, but certainly worth the effort.


imagine a crossroads. in one direction, straight ahead is a deep, dark well. in another, very far away, with many ups and downs, and after overcoming a few obstacles, you find your goals; the life you want to recover or the new life you want to build. it is normal that you are tempted to take the easy way, but it is a trap, the reward of choosing the hard way will be worth it, trust me.


all of us who go through a process of change go through different phases that would correspond to each of the territories, let’s get to know some of them.


phases of change applied to eating disorders.


pre-contemplation. this phase is the well. when you are there you think you are okay. everyone tells you they are worried about you, but there you feel safe: “there is nothing wrong with me. i’m in control” — is what sounds most often in your head. if you’re there i’d like to tell you that what you create as a shelter is actually a prison. the illness makes you feel a false sense of security, of control, which is just an illusion. little by little it will steal everything else from you; the freedom, the joy, the ability to enjoy, the will to live, the calm, the time with your loved ones... if it hasn’t already stolen them.


contemplation. one day you manage to get your head out of the well and you ask yourself: “are they right?” — that day you start to wonder if maybe you have a problem. finally you can start to see the cons of settling into the disease.


preparation for action. does this “i’ll start on monday” sound familiar? well, that’s sort of what this phase is like. right at the crossroads i was describing at the beginning. you know you don’t want to be sick anymore but you still don’t feel ready to start treatment. many people come to therapy at this point: they want to be cured but are very afraid to start the changes.


you want to move towards your goals but you see before your eyes a dark forest (like those in the scary movies), it is the forest of fears: fear of losing control of what you eat, fear of gaining weight, fear of trusting, fear of feeling, fear of not being cured, fear of being stopped loving, fear of growing up, fear of facing your problems...


as you go through the forest you cannot see it, from there the fears seem absolutely real, but when you are reaching the end of the road and look back you will see that they are not. now for the moment, just keep going through it, despite the fear. hand in hand with your family, your friends, your loved ones and your therapists will be a little less difficult.


and it turns out that this can get a little more complicated, if that’s what it takes. because among the trees in that forest, there are also stones that can trip you up. these are the traps of the disease. traps like withholding information from your therapists or following halfway through. it is as if you want to move forward, but with your conditions (which are not your own, they are those of the disease in a last desperate attempt to perpetuate itself). the problem with this “strategy” is that you take steps backwards and forwards and in the end you don’t move from the spot: you get tired and you don’t move. if you want to move on to the next phase, you’d better close your eyes, trust your therapy team and let them guide you unconditionally.


action. when you are here in the middle of your journey, you have already made the decision to move towards your goals and life without the disease, whatever it takes.


you are at the point of opening up to your therapists, of facing up to your fears (you will see how many of them become tired when they see you in front of them and you are decided), of looking with compassionate eyes at your story in order to repair your injuries and to make peace with food and with your body. you will find yourself on easy stretches of the road, some even downhill, others really difficult, but you are determined to do what it takes to leave the disease behind.


helpful ideas to keep you going:


if at some point things get difficult and you feel like turning back, here are some ideas:


the time you spend on the disease is time you steal from your life. that time is not recovered, do not give it another day.


keep in mind your goals, everything that excites you or that you want to recover.


returning to the symptom will only bring temporary relief, then everything you run away from is still there, waiting for you to face it, solve it, attend to it, cure it...


remember strategies and tools that have helped you get where you are: go back to what works for you.


look back and remember the worst moments of the illness. when the end of the road is blurred, we keep going forward to get away from what we don't want to go back to.


don't believe the “i can’t”. better change it to “it’s going to be hard”, “it’s going to be challenging but i can do this”, “it won’t be easy but i believe in me”. — it’s not impossible; in any case, it’s fucked up, but possible.


ask for help, verbalize to your loved ones and your therapists how you feel so they can help you.


the journey to the end of this road can take years and can be long at times. your illness may try to convince you to turn back or to leave it half done on the grounds that treatment is a waste of your time.


it doesn’t.


you’re investing time in yourself, in your recovery.


you are spending time building a life away from the nightmare your eating disorder has caused you to live.


and doesn’t that project deserve the dedication it deserves?


please don’t give up. keep trying. the life of your dreams is out there waiting for you.