Relationships are a beautiful thing. It’s having someone to talk to at 3 a.m. when you can’t get worries off your mind. It’s having someone to share your accomplishments with and encourage new goals. It’s learning everything about a person and accepting them just the way they are. It’s knowing that at the end of the day, regardless of what went on, there is always someone in your corner. This is all true, but what about when those beautiful relationship qualities are one sided? Those situations that make you forget to love yourself.
You start talking to someone and you really hit it off. You find similar interests and viewpoints and they even like all the skittle colors you throw out. You spend every moment together, finding the most ridiculous adventures to go on. You go out on late night drives just to listen to music and talk about life. Then you’re sitting there wondering how you managed to get so lucky coming across such a wonderful person. Everything just seems to fit and it is a balance that no one else quite understands. This is your person. The best friend that you ever had and could ever dream up. You were hesitant to say that you love them because they had already said it twice. Then you realized that there was a reason you went to bed with a ridiculous smile on your face every night, so you finally said it back.
Everything was beautiful but that didn’t last long. They stopped replying to texts often and failed to show for plans. They didn’t have much to say at dinner and kept their distance at night. You spend hours awake wondering what you had done differently to make someone start thinking less of you. Like everything else you come across that’s broken, you try to fix it. Every ounce of energy you possess goes to fixing what you didn’t even realize was broken.
They didn’t reply, but you still messaged to see that they were alright. You hadn’t eaten in two days, but you made sure they didn’t miss a meal. You hadn’t slept in three days, but you still ran your hands across their back so that they slept well. You had little left to give, but you gave it to them. You were giving someone the world when they barely made you a part of theirs. You put your dreams on hold to try and make theirs all come true. Basically, you were loving someone that never truly loved you. You made someone your world and completely forgot to take care of yourself. You were selfless to someone so selfish.
Relationships are about giving your all but when someone isn’t doing their part it takes a toll. There is something so mentally deteriorating about that situation. It makes you feel so worthless and yet you stay. It doesn’t take long before it effects every aspect of your life. Your friends have run out of advice. Your parents don’t have much to say. But you never give up on anyone. You’ve always been that person someone can rely on, so you take a deep breath and power on.
The exhaustion takes over and you finally start asking yourself what you’re fighting for. The reflection in your mirror is no one you’ve ever seen before. So, one day you wake up and you walk away. With tears streaming down your face, you finally give up on what you had tried so hard to hold together. A difficult task but time heals all. You start to realize your worth and you never let anyone take advantage of your willingness to love with everything you have. You take care of yourself and start working on every goal that you had once set aside. You build yourself up higher than you ever thought was possible. And then you are smiling for no other reason than your happiness with yourself. It took a while to get that smile, but it sure does shine bright.
You found yourself. The person who once stood in the back blending in is now standing in the front row shouting. You’re guarded but intelligent. You started living for you, allowing only a certain few in. You’re so powerful and probably do not even realize it. You will; however, and when you do you will move mountains. You won’t forget losing yourself, but will take pride in finding yourself and never allow yourself to fall that low again.
Most people would consider this the relationship that broke them not helped them find themselves. However, sometimes you must break to shine. These experiences help you learn a lot about yourself and how much you are willing to do for the people that you care about. You learn that you haven’t always loved yourself like you should. You love stronger than most because you know what it feels like to not be appreciated. Lastly, you learn to remember your worth and walk away from toxic people.
Go the extra mile, just make sure someone is climbing with you. Be invested but don’t let it consume you. Be confident, stay positive and always remember to take care of yourself. Life has a lot of beautiful opportunities that you do not want to miss out on. Most importantly, love yourself. Love yourself and the rest of the world will fall in love with you.
