We all know Starbucks. Whether you're there for the food, drink or the Instagram aesthetic, it has something for everyone. In movies, it's pictured as the perfect quiet cafe to study, but when it's flooded with 12-year-old girls with frappuccinos, and the only available table in the corner has crumbs and an old tea bag, the reality is far from ideal.
A place for homework
You might think you can grab a seat by the window, set up your laptop, grab a cup of coffee and go ham on that research paper, right? Wrong. You’re going to write that thing at 2 a.m. the night before it’s due from the comfort of your bed while stuffing Cheetos puffs down your gullet and crying. Starbucks is the real procrastination nation. What was once a cute little coffee shop is now a vehicle for people-watching and free songs on iTunes.
A quiet, low-key first date outing
Low-key? Yeah right. If this is a Starbucks in your hometown you probably went to high school with at least one of the baristas, and they’re definitely going to spell your date’s name wrong. First dates are portrayed so innocently in movies with two cups of coffee and a shared slice of coffee cake, but you and your Tinder date are going to arrive at different times and have a near-heart attack trying to decide if you should sit first and wait to order together or order separately and grab a seat. And oh god, how could you possibly eat in front of another person on the first date? What if you get blueberry in your teeth and coffee is hot and what if you burn your tongue and spill all over yourself or get an iced drink, god forbid a Frappuccino and look like a teenage girl at the mall? So much could go wrong! The good news is that your date isn’t going to spend their time looking at you, they’re going to be studying the pastries in the glass case and dreaming of making out with the pumpkin bread. Holy shit it’s good.
A hole in the wall artisan coffee house
While the pastries are from an actual bakery, and the coffee isn’t Folgers. Starbucks is the place where dreams go to die as far as the crowds. Starbucks rocks! Good food, great coffee, awesome travel mugs and they always make your drink perfectly (and if not, they’ll do it again!). The tough thing then becomes that everyone wants a piece of the action, and sometimes you’ll end up waiting 25 minutes in a crowded mall Starbucks as you desperately try to remember why you would put yourself in that position in the first place. Rainy days at Starbucks ultimately result in near death falls when stepping off the mats by the front door, and summer days mean they’ll be sold out of your favorite refresher before noon. But, the quiet Wednesday afternoons filled with warm mochas and good conversations make it worth it.
A melting pot of coffee and cultures
Starbucks actually gets it pretty right on this one! They automatically make it more cultured than your Keurig-coffee by putting the sizes into another language. Is it another language? Grande means large in Spanish, but at Starbucks that’s only a medium so I’m still confused. But honestly, if I ever drank anything other than a Café Mocha, the wide array of international and varying roasts of coffee are incredibly intriguing and are marketed very well. Screw caf versus decaf, Starbucks goes above and beyond with their varieties and dedication to having a coffee for everybody.
Studious pre-test meeting spots
While the open, social atmosphere doesn’t lend itself to being productive for the individual, the one long table in the center of any Starbucks is a great spot for group studying. Sharing notes and passing laptops for peer-edits is functional in this setting. Everyone comes with headphones and textbooks, ready to work. It’s all fun and games until somebody needs another cake pop.
