All my life I wanted to be like the older, super cool girls I would see in magazines or watch in the most unrealistic movies ever. I am just now realizing that I am one of those girls that I used to idolize and it freaks me out. I wouldn’t exactly say I have my life together and I’m sitting here wishing I was that little girl again. Don’t be fooled, I’m only 20 but let me just say that the quarter-life crisis is a real, live thing. They’re not lying when they tell you not to wish your life away.
Being in college is such a weird time because you have so much freedom to do things you’ve never had the chance to do, yet you still have to abide by your parents’ rules when you go back home. Everything is changing, from living on your own, to being able to do what you want without asking for permission, to just packing up and going on spur of the moment weekend trips with your friends. Everyone is just trying figure out life and make something out of themselves. All around you it seems like people are doing such awesome things with their lives and starting to actually grow up while you’re questioning every decision you’ve ever made.
Sometimes I look around at my friends and realize how successful they have been. They had great internships over the summer, studied abroad all over Europe last semester and are in leadership positions all over campus. I went through a period of time last year where I thought I was destined to live in a cardboard box for the rest of my life because I wasn’t doing all of those same things. I started to get frustrated with everything and feel like I should have some sense of direction by now. Sometimes I can’t even imagine what a mid-life crisis must be like if I can’t even decide what I want to eat or whether I really need another new dress.
In reality, everyone is just faking it until they make it. On the outside it might seem like other people have their lives together, but on the inside they probably feel the same exact way. I realized that the whole point of life is to be your own person. Why would you want 7 billion people who all do the same exact things and have nothing to call their own? Just because you don’t have an overwhelming resume full of things that are partially exaggerated, does not mean you have never done anything successful. Everyone has different qualities to offer and different strengths and weaknesses. That is what makes the world great, and sometimes it’s just a matter of figuring out your strengths.
Trust me, I still have very little sense of direction in my life. I am notorious for never knowing where I want to go out to dinner, and sometimes I don’t even know what to say when people ask me what I want to do with my life. One of my best friends got engaged two weeks ago. Engaged. And I don’t even have a date to my functions. But if you really think about it, who actually had a full life plan that they completely followed at 20?
So yes, the quarter-life crisis is definitely real. But it’s okay. More people than you think feel the exact same way. If you spend your whole life worrying about what you are going to do next, you will realize one day that you wasted your life away. I’ve learned to just try things, whether it ends up being a complete failure or success because life surprises you. It may seem like we have so many more things to figure out but look at how far you’ve come. As scary as that sounds, everyone is questioning everything they do. In the end, it’s just a matter of who takes advantage of the present and who wishes their life away. We’re never getting any younger.
