The quarter-life crisis is real, it's here and it doesn't get enough attention.
Everyone knows what a mid-life crisis is and nobody seems to give anyone else a hard time for having one. You start to realize life is short. You begin to look at everything critically; forcing yourself to dwell on the first half of your life- deciding how you're going to live the rest of it. It's a scary time, for sure. It's hard to critique yourself. You confront the idea that you actually made-- and are making-- mistakes. It's nothing to be ashamed of: everybody makes a few. It's a bit embarrassing, but it's a situation that everyone is aware of. It's something that society has started to embrace (and that isn't a bad thing- we should rejoice in reflecting on our journeys we are lucky enough to have).
But if 50 years into this world you take time to reflect on your journey, where and when does your journey start? Where's the beginning? It's a bit silly to think that the heap of your life --the good stuff, the experiences that make you who you are--starts on the day that you're born. By all means, your childhood is important. It develops you into the person you will be for the rest of your life. But that in itself is the purpose of your childhood years, the purpose of growing up: it's character development. There comes a point in your life where you're done growing, you've learned (a great deal of) what life is about and it's time to move on up. Midway to your midway: welcome to the end of the first quarter of your life.
College is a big, confusing stew of lots of other big and confusing things. Freshman year: pick a major. Translation: decide what you're going to do with the rest of your life. Sophomore year: Make sure you're on top of everything. Translation: Okay, you're settled into college life, but how are your grades? Can you get into grad school? Do you WANT to go to grad school? Have you looked for part-time job yet? Junior year: Start thinking seriously about the path you're planning on taking. Translation: Do you actually know what you're going to do? Have you taken control? Senior year: here it is, it's over. Translation: Get ready for the real world because it's going to hit you hard.
More or less, these four years that you spend in your undergraduate define the essence of your entire life. In my opinion, at least, this is just as much-- if not more-- stressful as reevaluating your life choices when you're 50. Everyone keeps saying, "You don't need to know what you're going to do with the rest of your life when you're 18!" and "No one knows what they're going to do after graduation!" But to what extent is this actually true?
Ten or fifteen years ago, degrees weren't so specialized. Of course, you needed to go to med school to be a doctor, law school to become a lawyer. But it was just as much about learning the ropes of the real world once you actually got there as it was about learning the general concepts when you were in class. Everything's important, specialization and internships and experience- they're all necessary. I don't disagree with the expectations that employers have for this generation; in an incredibly general sense (and this is not meant to look over any kind of privilege, which, of course, exists), there is more opportunity now for an "in-depth" education than there used to be.
Don't get me wrong: I'm glad the expectation is for people to go to college and get a degree in their field. It is important to have a well-educated society for many reasons. The point I am trying to make is not that we shouldn't be expected to hold degrees in our fields, is not that we shouldn't work hard to gain internships and experiences, is not that employers should lower their expectations and is not that college isn't important. The point that I'm trying to make is this: we are expected to do all of these things and to know our mostly definitive path before we even reach our third decade of life and that's terrifying.
I realize that it is possible, in certain circumstances, to go back and get a degree in a field later on in life. The possibility for an older adult to go back to school means, in a sense, it is never too late to start a new path for yourself. This is incredibly encouraging and progressive, but unfortunately unrealistic. It isn't always easy: if someone wants to go back and change their career path later in life, they face many obstacles they didn't have to worry about when they were younger. Paying for college once is expensive, but paying for college a second time is financially impossible for many.
Not to mention the fact that many would have to deal with spending time away from their families and current jobs in order to focus on their education. Both of my parents, at different times in my life, have decided to go back to school to get different degrees- an amazing feat and an admirable one, but I can say first-hand that it isn't always easy: on the person or on their families. The odds are stacked against you. There's a lot more mobility for you in the job market when you start out young and work your way up from there.
This isn't meant to try to accuse the collegiate system and job market of being corrupt, or to fight them on what is or what isn't fair. I, as many others, have come to accept these circumstances. I will do the best that I can do with the situation that I am given. The point of this isn't to place blame or to deflect responsibility.
Ultimately, what one should realize is this: we live in society where there's a large amount of pressure to define yourself at a young age. Being a "20-something" is hard. It's a stressful time and, honestly, there isn't much we can do about it. It's just important to acknowledge that it's a difficult age for everyone and that, contrary to popular belief, no one has it completely together while they're in college. Don't beat yourself up because you don't have a finalized plan of what you're going to do for the rest of your life- live day by day and don't forget to love yourself through it.
Life goes by fast. Pretty soon, you'll be 50, so take a deep breath, relax, have a little bit of faith in yourself and in your journey. We're all going through this together and we're all going to be fine.
