Yesterday, upon returning home after a weekend away, I found myself going to mass alone. At first, I was disappointed. Whether it be at school or at home, going to mass on Sunday's is normally something I do with people, it is a means of affirming the community of people I have in my life.

Yet, after reconsidering, I realized that maybe this would be a good thing, and it was. I really enjoyed having that hour all to myself, an hour where I could just be. Afterwards, I realized I couldn't remember the last time I did something entirely alone.

As someone who lives with people and has days filled with interactions with loved ones, there really is not a whole lot of time I spend alone.

Even in times when I might be physically alone, I often find myself reaching for my phone, texting friends or scrolling through my social media feeds. I know I am not the only one doing this. Travel to any city and, looking at the people around you, you'll see that even those who travel alone are glued to their devices.

What are we distracting ourselves from? Where has our ability to be still within ourselves gone?

I know, for me, the inability to truly spend quality time with myself stems from a certain fear of the thoughts that would reveal themselves if I were to take this time to check in with myself. In so many of my articles, I speak of the importance of vulnerability, of showing our true selves to others.

Yet, I'm realizing, sometimes, it is scariest to be vulnerable with ourselves.

Even when putting our best foot forward and working to be vulnerable with others, there may still be parts of ourselves that we hold back. Alone, however, that is not an option, we have no one to hide from. This is what I believe leads people today to constantly surround themselves with people or other distractions.

In doing so, unfortunately, we shield ourselves from living out our truth. In preventing ourselves from taking time to search within, to know ourselves better, we prevent ourselves from showing our truest selves to others.

The solution to all this? Spend time with yourself, do things alone. This may seem frightening or scary, but the best way to overcome this fear is to face it head on.

In spending time alone, you are taking a risk. You risk finding out things about yourself that make you uncomfortable, things you want to avoid. Yet these thoughts we often avoid are the ones that we should be paying most attention to. This risk is worth taking.

You are the one person you will spend the entirety of your life with, so it's time you get more comfortable with yourself, it's time you realize that quality time alone can be the best time spent.

I, myself, am determined to start spending more time alone. Whether it be going to mass alone like I did this past weekend, taking time to journal, read, or just going for a walk, I am making it my goal this summer to put my phone away, and be with myself. Instead of being connected to the outside world, I am recognizing the importance of finding my connectedness within.

There is nothing more powerful than a human being who is not afraid to spend time alone and who, in doing so, knows who they are to their core.

It is not antisocial to spend this time alone. In fact, it is the opposite. Our relationship to ourselves lays the foundation for the rest of our relationships, so strengthening our relationship to ourself enables our relationships with others to be even stronger.

I want to be entirely comfortable in my skin, in who I am, and I hope all of you want to, too. Let's stop shying away from spending time alone, and recognize it as a transformative practice.

Talk soon,

Sam