If I received a penny for every time I have come across a self-love quote on the Internet, I would be a millionaire. "Love yourself first, and everything else will fall into place” is probably the most popular one I’ve read. It sounds so simple, right?
It’s much easier said than done. Loving yourself is not supposed to be a state of feeling good all the time, and many people mistake it for that. When you love yourself, you will still feel a wide range of emotions. You will still feel down and upset at times. But the difference between loving yourself while going through a hard time, and not loving yourself while going through a hard time, is that when you love yourself truthfully, you are saying you accept yourself and you are at peace with everything that is happening.
It all sounds so cliché. Love yourself, accept yourself…blah, blah, blah. I know. But in all seriousness, accepting yourself takes a lot of courage and strength. We as humans have so many flaws that we could never be perfect. But we aren’t supposed to be perfect. That’s why loving yourself is a challenge, because you are committing to accepting yourself not just through your accomplishments and good times in your life (which is very easy to do), but through the bad and ugly times as well.
I don’t know about you, but I’m a perfectionist. And if you’re like me, you know you sometimes cause your own worst headaches. You probably think too much. You probably beat yourself up for irrational reasons. You might feel guilty for reasons you should not feel guilty for. You might also seek self-improvement excessively. Trust me...I know. I am my worst critic 97% of the time. And everything I just mentioned is the opposite of loving yourself.
Stop the comparisons you make to others. When I hear people, especially my closest friends, put themselves down (whether it be related to body image insecurities or personality flaws), it hurts me. No one on this Earth enjoys being spoken down to, so why do it to yourself? We should be our own number one supporters. We spend the most time with ourselves more than we spend it with anyone else, so we should give ourselves as much encouragement and respect anyone deserves.
Remain mindful. Be conscientiousness, but allow yourself to mess up. By that, I am not saying to deliberately make the wrong choices, but I am saying that when you do, forgive yourself whole-heartedly. Accept all that you do, think, and say—for that is what makes you, you.
Here’s another reason why self-love is such an important ingredient to living a fulfilling life:
If you can never learn to accept who you are, how will you ever be able to accept someone else and their flaws? If you can never accept yourself, you will never be able to truly love yourself, or anyone else. Keep that in mind.
So today, be okay with who you are at this very moment. Chances are you have been beating yourself up way too long…or maybe not. But regardless if you have or haven’t, give yourself some credit. You deserve it. We’re only human, and we are all worthy of love.
Promise.
