I stay too long, but I am okay with it.
My mom asked me recently “Are you the person that stays too long? Or do you give up to early?” When she first asked that question, I thought it was broad and I asked her to be more specific, and she said “Do you stay too long or leave too early in friendships, relationships, tough situations?” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that in 99% of my life, I stay too long, sometimes way too long. I also realized that I am proud of that.
It takes a lot for me to give up on a person, and if I end up giving up on that person, it is usually after a lot of hurt feelings and wasted effort. I like to believe in people, even when I shouldn’t. I hope that they are the person I think they are, but sometimes life doesn’t work out that way. Sometimes it is easy to look back and see all the reasons I should have left earlier, but then I think…
“What if I had?’
“What if I left when times got tough?”
“What if the we could have gotten through it and made it all so much better?”
After asking myself each of those questions, I am glad I went through the hard times, I’ve salvaged many friendships by sticking around longer than people thought I should. Sure, you lose some too, friends, significant others, professional relationships. But I hate to wonder, “What if?”
As a “millennial” (ew, I hate that word), people in our society so easily give up when times get tough, no one wants to fight for things to work. It has become too easy for people to get divorces, or break leases, and cut people off. Majority of the time, people end these relationships over the phone or text, because they don’t want to do something that they know is bad to someone’s face. When most of us are at the age where we can easily start over, why not take a little extra time to figure it out. Whether the outcome is negative or positive, I can guarantee that you will learn something from the situation. Majority of the time, that face to face conversation can be a complete game-changer. When you need to figure something out, talk, listen, and admit your wrong-doings. No one is perfect, and it’s very likely that both of you messed up in one way or another. So whether it works out or not, you will end exactly where you need to be, with exactly who you need to be with.
In a world where it is so easy to give up, I encourage you to stay and fight for what you believe in.
Yes, there is an appropriate time to walk away from something, and I promise you I have even when it was so painful to do so. But would you rather look back and the your successful and your failed relationships and say that you gave it your all?
I know I do.
“When you stop fighting, you stop living. So find your fight, then fight like hell until your battle has won.”
