I live with the perpetual fear that I am going to screw someone else over. I agonize over other people’s feelings and how my actions may or may not affect them. I worry that the smallest word, glance, decision, or lack thereof might have possibly hurt someone, anyone. So I bend over backwards to please everyone, and I usually end up screwing myself over in the process. I never thought you could love other people too much. And I still think that. But there comes a point when you have to stop caring about everyone else and their precious feelings so much, and start caring about your own.

First off, you are not an offense. Stop agonizing over every word that comes out of your mouth, every decision you make that might not benefit everyone. Stop being afraid that you’re hurting people, or that anyone resents you. You are precious and important, and people love you. But no one is concerned about every little thing you do. It’d be a bit worrying if they were.

Second, you are not perfect. Stop trying to be. You will fail. I know this first-hand.

Third, no one expects you to be perfect. Everyone is flawed and everyone knows that. And if there are people in your life that do expect you to be perfect, then they’re the ones at fault, not you.

Fourth, you aren’t actually letting everyone down. I know it can feel that way sometimes. I know it feels like there are these impossible standards, and everyone else is going above and beyond, and you’re stuck in the sand. But not everyone is depending on you and it’s okay if you mess up a little.

Fifth, it’s okay that you care a lot. That’s valuable. There are so many stuck-up, self-centered people in the world that think what they say and do doesn’t matter, or that they’re entitled to say and do what they want. No matter how it affects their peers. You recognize that a thoughtless unkind word can hurt more than you’d expect, and you’re careful of that. We need more people like you.

Sixth, this doesn’t mean that you should stop caring. Yes, you do have the right to make decisions that benefit you, and you are allowed to speak your mind. But that doesn’t mean you should stop taking other people’s feelings into consideration.

Seventh, it’s okay to care about yourself too. It’s super important, actually. If you don’t take time to love yourself, you’re going to have trouble loving everyone else. And you’ve made it clear to yourself and pretty much everyone that loving people is a priority to you. But show some love to yourself first.