I am sorry. I have said it a million times, and I will say it again. None of this was because of you, or done intentionally, things just happened in a way that neither of us really expected. I believe that everything happens for a reason, that probably doesn't help, but one day I hope you see why this happened and feel okay about the outcome. You are a good person and deserve so many good things, my actions don't make you something less than you are. That's something I want you to always remember.

You said you'll never forgive me, I don't blame you. I was in the wrong, and should have made better choices. One thing you probably don't realize is that I will never forgive myself. I don't like to hurt people and I am quite aware that I ruined you. I guess I didn't realize the impact I would have on you till it was too late, I wish I would've been smarter and more aware of what was in front of me.I think I had to let other things happen to realize just who you are.

I don't know how to fix things, or make things better. I don't know whether you will ever see me the same way as before. Please remember we are all humans, we all make mistakes, and these mistakes shouldn't always define our character. I cannot change what happened. If I had a time machine I would go back and change things, because I see now how dumb my decisions were. You told me the last time we talked that all because you miss one problem on a math test doesn't mean you're bad at math, I hope that means you don't think I am an awful person. If you do think I am trash, that is okay, because believe me, I deserve it.

I know you are angry and hurt, I wish I could take that away, but I can't. I hope one day you can actually forgive me, I really don't want you to carry all of this anger with you. Maybe one day things can go back to the way they were, or maybe this is just how things are meant to be. Either way, I will be happy to have you in my life. Although you might doubt my words, I really do care about you and your well being.

I care about you in general. I care about how you feel and what's going on in your life. I don't want you to fear talking to me, or doubt if I am being genuine. I know I have made mistakes, you seen me at my worst, but I am trying to do better. I want you to be there to see just how good my "better"is. If you don't stick around, I will understand though. I mean, why wouldn't I?