When people ask me where I’m from, I never really know what to say. Usually I come up with a, “Well, right now my family lives in Massachusetts,” type of answer. Then I’m greeted with a confused look and I have to further explain, “Well, my dad’s in the military, so we move around a whole bunch.” Then comes a nod of understanding with a smirk of “that’s too bad.” “How many other places have you lived?,” they wonder, with a look of concerned amazement. I rattle off the list: “Born in Oregon, moved to Seattle, then to D.C., different place in Washington, Detroit, Massachusetts, back to Michigan, back to Massachusetts, and now I’m here for school in New York.” Their eyes get wide and they tilt their head back, “Wow. I can’t even imagine. I could never do that. That must have been so hard.”
Honestly, being a military brat is tough. It’s hard. But it’s also completely awesome! Maybe I think that because that’s just my life and I don’t know it any other way, but I truly love it. In my 19 years of existence, there have been tradeoffs with this lifestyle, but ultimately I am thankful for it. I wouldn’t be me if I weren’t a military brat, it has become so much a part of my life and who I am, and there are some aspects of it that most people don’t realize are so rewarding.
I get to travel. The first question I always answer is, “Where have you lived?” And the answer always consists of a lot of places. But the places I’ve lived aren’t the only places I’ve ever been. I have to travel to get to my new home, which means cross-country drives, which I absolutely love. These family drives have provided me with some of my happiest memories. I get excited driving down a highway in the middle of nowhere, pulling off into a small town and discovering something completely new, whether it’s a homestyle café, a park or reservation, or an interesting museum. I always take the chance to appreciate where I am in the moment and cherish the memories.
I have lots of friends. This sounds like I’m being full of myself, but I’m not being full of myself. I’m not super duper popular with a lot of super duper close friends, but I am friendly with a lot of people. Moving around everywhere and anywhere, I have to be friendly and open, so I’ve met a lot of people. Everywhere I’ve lived I’ve made new friends that I’ve kept in touch with over the years. So just think about this real quick: How many friends do you have or how many people are you generally friendly with? Now multiply that by eight or nine, for the number of times I’ve moved. Yep. That’s how many people I know and have met in my lifetime. It’s pretty fun to think that I have friends all over the country, the world even, and I am still meeting new people every day.
I’m super close with my family. Moving every two to three years means I don’t really have a home. That’s why I can never answer the question of, “Where are you from?” I can’t even identify where my family is from, we’re all spread out. Not having a place to root and ground myself, not having a geographic location where I will always feel content and at ease, makes me feel lost. But that has brought my family closer together. Because we don’t have one single spot on the map where we call home, my family and I find salvation in each other. We are each other’s home. My family is the one constant in a lifestyle where nothing stays the same. We know exactly what the other is going through and how they’re feeling. Only we can provide each other comfort. We will always have each other and we will always be together no matter where the military puts us next.
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I’m strong as hell. I leave people I love all the time, I don’t know where home is, and I’m constantly uprooted, having to start over again and again. But I have grown from that. Instead of wallowing in my own self-pity, focusing on the negative of having a difficult, frustrating lifestyle, I get stronger. I move past the sadness and the loss, appreciate where I’ve been and look forward to where I’m going. I’ve developed my own unique sense of self and identity. I know how to argue my opinions, prove myself, and defend my worth in any situation. I’ve gone through more than most people my age can even imagine, and because of that, I’m stronger than most people can even imagine.
I know how to put a positive spin on things. This is part of my strength. It’s easy to get caught up in the sadness of leaving friends and family and not knowing where you belong, but it’s harder, and better, to move past that. Everywhere I’ve lived, my family always focuses on the good there. We look for new opportunities to get involved, meet new people, visit museums and parks, and learn everything about this new place we’ll call home, if only for a few years. This is the only way I’ll ever be happy. Moving and relocating is such a prominent aspect of my life that cannot be changed, I have to accept it and use it for the better. I’ve learned to love where I’ve been and love even more where I’m going, viewing everything as an adventure. Looking for the good in everything and anything has helped me live a much happier life, and will help me continue to live a happy life.
I wouldn’t change the life I live for a second. I have grown from my experiences and have become stronger from them. I have endless love and support from my family, and they know they have mine in return. Yes, I live a different life than most people, but that doesn’t mean that’s bad. In fact, it’s pretty darn great.
