I'm sure you've seen the iconic series Lord of the Rings. If you haven't, go watch it. Seriously. It's only nine hours. I'll wait.

Okay, now that you're cultured, let's talk about Hobbits. Why is that, you may wonder. Well I'm glad you asked. I'm happy to show you what I'm Tolkien about.

1. Hobbits eat seven times a day.

Let's be honest, I eat seven times a day anyway. But Hobbits have actual meal times! And Elevensies has such a nice ring to it.

2. They're short and chubby.

I don't appreciate being called short, but if I was a Hobbit, I wouldn't have to worry about it. Everything is tailored to the average height of three feet. Our society focuses way too much on body type, but Hobbits know what's up. In Hobbiton, there's only one body type: cute.

3. Hobbits go on adventures.

Well, some of them. But I can tell you, if a bunch of dwarves and a wizard ever show up at my door and ask me to join them in traversing Middle Earth, I shall not pass up that opportunity.

5. But they also know how to take it easy.

Hobbits know what's important in life. I'd have a lot more time to relax if I was a Hobbit. They know the value of sitting in the forest with a good book.

4. They live in the Shire.

The Shire is gorgeous. Green grass, sunny forests, rolling hills; what more could you want? I'd go there, and then go back again.

5. They have perfect curls.

*sigh* If only my hair formed such flawless ringlets.

6. Hobbits go barefoot all the time.

I can't be the only one who loathes wearing shoes. I went barefoot everywhere from age 4 to the time I was 8. Then, apparently, I was "too old for such nonsense" and had to wear shoes from then on. That would never have been a problem if I was a Hobbit.

7. Hobbits are always having a good time.

Hobbits are fun-loving little party animals. They wail away their time with folksongs and Irish jigs. Ain't no party like a Hobbit party because a Hobbit party goes on until they pass out from too many pints.

8. They have adorable little homes.

Everything is round, just like a Hobbit's tummy. And honestly, who doesn't want to live inside a hill? The inside is homey and warm, and you have a built-in garden on the outside.

9. Hobbits are all-around cuties.

Have you ever seen a Hobbit that wasn't absolutely adorable? That's because they don't exist. They're just so precious. Furry feet and all.