As we all know, there is somewhat of a high whenever you are in a good patch of your relationship. However, what happens when the good patch turns into fighting, tears for you, then the official, “I don’t want to be solely committed to you,” statement? Well, you tell yourself, it's fine, I will change him. I can change his mind. He will make me his girlfriend. Sorry to break the news, darling, it is never going to happen. As the 2015 year comes to a close, I encourage you to reflect back on this so-called “relationship” and officially, one: get the closure you deserve, and two: finally move on. Here is a little pep talk you will need to finally turn your on and off relationship, completely off.

Okay, so last night you went out and saw him out. Of course, four shots later, you walked over and started talking to him. Him flirting with you, touching you, hugging you, led to you falling, once again harder than you wanted to. You woke up this morning, now sober, him laying next to you, and he just wakes up and leaves. No kiss goodbye. No conversation. Nothing. Cue the uncontrollable tears and now the hours of regret from your decision twelve hours prior.

You thought this time would be different. Exams are over. We don’t have to worry about school. “I can play hard to get at the bar and be in control this time.” Then why did he leave this morning? Not text me after or even speak to me this morning? So obviously, this is the same situation you found yourself in last week, two weeks before that, and continuously over the course of the last six months. “Why do I keep doing this to myself? Am I not good enough for him?”

Honey, stop. You are enough. You are more than enough. Tell yourself that everyday when you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror, and before you go to sleep. You want to know why you keep crawling back? Because you are comfortable with the idea that one day he may change. However, he is never going to. Let's take a look at the millennial generation. Unless they are actors in a romantic comedy or playing for the Dillon Panthers on “Friday Night Lights,” gentlemen do not exist. Relationships are more “open” than they are exclusive. Hooking up is considered the closest thing to dating and is just a waste of your time.

I’m sorry to break the news, but you are never going to change him. The growing hope that he may change himself and realize how truly amazing you are, is programmed into the female DNA. However, it is by far one of our biggest flaws. We put our future, too often, in the male’s hands. Why do you have to wait for him to make it official? Good timeline for the future- if it is three weeks and y’all are not Facebook Official- MOVE ON. It's never going to happen. If it is the first time you sleep together and he doesn’t text or call you the next day- MOVE ON. He doesn’t respect you and was clearly looking for a piece of ass. If he drinks too much, gets angry and out of control, and ruins your time- MOVE ON. He is embarrassing and has internal issues that you have no time to deal with or try to confront. If he is constantly leading you on, sending you mixed signals, and of course, not owning up to any of the above- MOVE ON. He can’t confess his feelings, if he has any, now, how will it be once the relationship progresses, if it does?

As easy as it is to say “I am going to move on,” it is by far the hardest thing to do. To leave the person you are constantly texting and look forward to talking to, is difficult. However, how do you know they feel the same way? You don’t. Stop wasting your time. You deserve the absolute world and if he isn’t even giving you a piece of it, stop. This once again leads to the constant worry that you are not good enough for him to hit you up all the time, hours of crying, and criticizing yourself. Remember you are enough. Instead of looking at the last six months, year, semester, or however long it was, as a huge regret, use it as a lesson. You learned how not to be treated. How not to give yourself up to the guy who has no respect for you. You learned that you can’t depend on the feeling of hope to keep you in this so-called relationship. You learned you can’t claim this as heartbreak because you are in the driver’s seat- sure as hell not him.

So as we go into a new year, 2016, tell yourself it is going to be your year. The year you fall in love with the one person who will never let you down- YOU. In order for someone to love you, you have to love yourself first. Find your self worth. Stop staring at yourself in the mirror searching for the flaws or reasons that you do not have a boyfriend. Who cares if you are going home every holiday and your answer to the awkward question, “Are you dating anyone?” is always “No.” Embrace the single life. At least this is the life that you are in control of. Your hope of changing any guy needs to be transferred to hope for you to love yourself more and more each day. Find your confidence, embrace your beauty, and set the standards for yourself so when your prince charming comes along you are reassured it is him. This person will be the only one to make you cry happy tears. Will be the first one to text or call you every morning and night and not go days without speaking to you.

I promise you, you can move on. Delete his number. Delete him off of every social media. Who cares if he takes that as you being pyscho: you are letting your heart heal. We have all been at rock bottom, but the only thing to do is go up. I can 150% promise you, this toad of a guy will not even matter a year from now. Instead, you will look back on this experience and laugh as you will then be in a stable relationship and he is still be running around playing girls like a damn pinball machine. Remember you are enough. You can do this. Get out of your rock bottom and move forward to loving you and letting love find you. In the wise words of my role model and goddess to life, Lauren Conrad, “You can never make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it is no longer a mistake, it is a choice.” Don’t let this become a pattern- move on and away from it.