Growing up, I was the girl always surrounded by people. Whether it was my family, my friends, or my teammates, I rarely spent time alone. I had a busy life. My days always started with family breakfast, long hours at school, then swimming countless laps with my teammates. I grew up in a very sheltered environment surrounded by the safest of people.

If there were one thing I would tell high school me, it would be to appreciate those moments spent with people who care about me. Eventually, I got tired of my daily routine in high school. I desired spending time by myself, so I lost appreciation for those people in my life.

Fast forward a few years, and I am now a junior in college wishing nothing more than to have those people in my life again. Yes, my college friends are lovely. They are supportive and encouraging in my times of need. However, it’s not the same.

I miss morning breakfasts with my family. I regret the number of times my brother and I would fight over which cereal box we would open first. I miss having class with all of my best friends in high school. I wish I would have spent more time with them outside of class. I miss going to and from practice jamming out to music way too loudly. The people on my team always brought sunshine into my days.

As a college student, it’s honestly not the same. I can’t tell you the last time I sat down for breakfast before the sun rises. Those half awake and sleep filled conversations are where you really get to know someone. Although I walk to and from class with people daily, I don’t feel as if I have the connections with them as I did in high school. Now that I am no longer a member of a team, there will always be a void in my heart.

I know that I am the only one capable of changing this. I am aware that I could always ask someone to grab breakfast, ask where they are headed when they leave the building, or become more involved on campus. But the truth is - I don’t want to.

I have never felt more alone in my life. I am alone at this school. But I am okay with being alone.

Here’s the thing: being alone does not mean I am lonely. When I crave company or attention, I am able to receive it from my college friends. When I miss my family, I go home. No one is too far out of reach or unwilling to support me in my times of need.

It is wonderful to know that I still have people in my life even though I do not spend every second in the presence of others. I like being alone. It is teaching me independence. It is teaching me to appreciate the company I have when I have it.

But it is also teaching me to be okay with myself. I am comfortable being alone. I am much more productive. I have found that when I am alone I am more likely to practice self-care. Having time for crafts, leisurely reading, and relaxing are all things I am able to do now that I am alone.

Being alone is not a bad thing. It is peaceful to be alone.

I challenge you this week to try it. Take a day. Be alone. See what it does for you.