Not enough light is shed on the fact that bad or messy relationships, labeled or unlabeled, can take a mighty tole on a person's heart and mind. People hurt by someone else are always told to just "get over it" or "move on." They are expected to forget everything that was said and done to them and wipe away the emotions like a stain on a shirt.
Coming from someone who has been cheated on, lied to, manipulated and controlled, I know this is simply not a possibility. Coming from someone who knows what its like to have someone else get involved, or be the blind third party involved with not a clue about what is actually going on, I know that the scars left behind are far from temporary.
These moments, these situations, they are traumatic. Anything and everything can remind you of what you have endured, making you sick to your stomach. But, no one believes that what you went through was really that bad. No one believes that the lies you were told, that were believed to be true for so long, could make you question your every single move.
Not enough light is shed on the fact that bad or messy relationships, labeled or unlabeled, can take a mighty tole on a person's heart and mind. People who haven't quite been there don't understand the pain that can be caused by getting mixed up in something that isn't quite right. People who haven't quite been there don't understand that the happiness they may believe they are currently receiving in their bad relationship, is trumped completely by the negative emotions to follow.
My heart breaks for those who allow themselves to get wrapped up in a messy relationship or as a third party. My heart breaks for those who won't take a step back and see that they deserve more and can do so much better. I wish that situations like those mentioned above never happened, that people weren't blinded by false truths and that people let relationships be relationships.
This isn't the case though. People will continue to be blinded and people will continue to get involved and let others be involved. What needs to happen is a shedding of light. The light needs to be shed on these situations and the fact that people come out hurt and severely impacted. We cannot just tell them to move on or get over it. We need to allow them to feel and grieve and then help them move forward. These events will always be a part of them, but they do not have to define them.
