To The Girl Who's Overthinking Things, If He Liked You, You'd Know

To The Girl Who's Overthinking Things, If He Liked You, You'd Know

Watching "He's Just Not That Into You" is the best reminder that games are for the playground.


During this lengthy quarantine, I have had a lot of time, so my house has stayed absurdly clean, I have organized all of my belongings along with my families', and I have talked to my friends even more than I did before this mess. I have taken up new hobbies (cooking and gardening... I don't know, I'm domestic now I guess), I've read both fiction and nonfiction books, and I have annoyed my brother every day. You know what else I have done plenty of? Overthinking.

Overthinking has been quite a natural talent of mine ever since I can remember.

I have learned over the years that I am best when I am busy, and I am OK with that. Right now I am trying to plan my entire future while making Pinterest boards for my birthday in January and psychoanalyzing every member of my family. For those of you who do not know me to realize how much this quarantine has caused me to overthink, let me say it to you in a language you might understand: I am a Capricorn with an 8 as my enneagram and have both cognitive science and psychology minors for fun that I work toward in-between bingeing shows like "Lie to Me" and "Bull." I yearn to deeply understand how the human mind works. This works in my favor often, but it also causes me some problems.

Now that we have cleared up my overthinking tendencies, let's mix in the fun fact that I have had a crush on at least one boy since Cameron, who I chased around on the playground in preschool. Skip forward to middle school, I actually wrote notes to the boys I liked when they made eye contact with me (sorry about that Nolan, I thought I liked you as much as Harry Styles, bro). In high school, I realized that having strong (sometimes incredibly unwarranted) emotions along with my optimistic tendencies is something that makes me a really good friend, but it also makes me a touch irrational when trying to really know if a boy likes me or not. I easily go from the most logical advice-giver to any friend that needs it to "OK but he saw my story first every day for two weeks and we just have this energy," and "Yes he texts me first about random things and asks like he needs my help with class but he doesn't LIKE me." Sounding familiar?

Well, I choose to believe that I am not neurotic. I am just a hopeless romantic who likes to know where I stand.

That declaration in writing will scare away every boy that reads this (boy, bye! If this scares you heaven knows we are not meant to be), but this isn't for them. This is for the girls nodding with me and shaking their heads at me putting my craziness in writing. Let us turn to a more seasoned professional to really get the main message of this article out there... Alex.

Alex is the main character in the work of art that is "He's Just Not That Into You" (on Netflix!!!), and he takes it upon himself to teach Gigi (that's me and you and your friend who you told to stop cyberstalking the cute boy last night) how to know when a guy likes her.

How do you know when a guy likes you?


Were you hoping for something different? Yea, me too. But tough luck, sister. When a guy likes you, he lets you know. He will text you or Snapchat you or for Pete's sake, he could even DM you. He asks to spend time with you. He makes situations where you guys are together, spending time, having any kind of conversation.

You don't have to analyze whether or not his single random text and excessive eye contact in class means something. Or if everything he says has a loaded meaning. Or why in the world he seems to want your advice on important matters when he has a girlfriend.

Does he want to be just friends? Does he ever think about me? Is he just too scared to act on his feelings?

If you have to ask if he likes you, he doesn't. Even the most insecure of us can see when a guy likes us, so if you have to ask all three of your best friends to get the answer you want, he's not it y'all. If he likes you, he'll tell you in both his actions and his words. Not all guys are the same, but I believe the basic generalization that they are simpler than we make them out to be. Stop asking if he likes you. He doesn't.

But one will, and it will be the right one, and you will be the exception. You will find the Alex to your Gigi or the Neil to your Beth. It may not be the guy you wanted it to be for a pathetic amount of time, but you'll find him. Or maybe he'll find you. Now go ahead and put down the texts from this boy and turn on "He's Just Not That Into You."

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