Toxic people are like poison -- they blind you and take the reins of your emotional being. But it is subtle and as you are being used, you don't realize it. Sometimes it takes something drastic to readjust those rose colored glasses of yours. Unfortunately, toxic people can weasel their way into our friendships and every day lives. Well, I am here to give a shout out to all of our crazy ex friends who tried to drain us and leave us shriveling in their aftermath. I am also here to open your eyes to the signs of a one-sided friendship, because you deserve more and better.

So how do you know if someone is toxic? Well, for starters, look at your messages. Warning sign number one is if you notice they only talk about their own lives, while ignoring yours. Your talks should not only be about their problems and their accomplishments. Friendship is a two-way street, named “support”. When something is going wrong in your life, you should have someone to count on. But if this does not go both ways, then what is even the point of friendship? Sure life is complicated and things get messy, but not taking the time to know what is going on in your life is unacceptable.

And if you bring up an exciting event in your life, they should be there with support and love, not words of hate or deterioration. I have had certain friends who out of jealousy throw sharp knives at me, and if this happens then y’all either need to have a talk, or you need to get out.

While there are many other signs of toxicity, overall it all links back to selfishness, lack of consideration, and lack of understanding. In short, if a friend isn’t pulling you up, and all they’re doing is bringing you down, then in the words of O.T. Genasis, "You need to cut it!"

And to those who we have cut, let’s take a moment to thank them. Because without those painful and almost stunting friendships, we would have never moved forward. In eighth grade, if I didn’t have a friendship breakup, I would never have decided to go to my high school. I needed those toxic people, to push me to do something positive. The result was I got the privilege to attend a college prep school, filled with amazing teachers, classmates, and memories.

Then, in high school, I needed to go through another toxic friendship, so that I could meet one of my current best friend. Without a nasty relationship, I would never have met one of my future bridesmaids. And now, I am ending a toxic friendship because it is time to move on to a more positive and mature phase in my life. I know that this won’t be the last time I have to ghost someone, but I can now appreciate why we must move onward.

My point is that while toxic people may come and go like a tornado, they leave in their path repair and growth. In the end it’s their loss and your gain. Because while they may have ended up being toxic, you have to admit that there are some fond memories with them. In the end you receive a life lesson, growth and a push forward, while they push away someone who they never really deserved in the first place. It may sound selfish, but when it comes to positivity in your life, you're in charge. In the end, we thank these people because sometimes you need a push so that you can finally fly.