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Health and Wellness

The New Era of the Period

You Know You Want to Know

Nikole Szentkuti
Mar 22, 2018
Composition Club
1555
The New Era of the Period
wikimedia

We've all heard of them. Whether you're totally disgusted, intimidated or fascinated, you can't deny, you've definitely been curious about them. Well, here's what it's all about in seven brutally honest steps.


1. Reading the instructions.

This looks so easy. I totally have this. I just need to fold it like this. All right. Here we go.


2. Putting it in.

How the actual fuck am I supposed to get this in my body. I literally cannot. Maybe if I fold it like this...? NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. ABORT. I've been in this restroom for a solid ten minutes. I just need to shove it up there at this point. Okay. Here we go.

3. It's in.

Wow. This is great. I feel nothing. Watch me do this split just because I can. Holy fucking yes. I need to tell everyone about this. Everyone needs to know. My body is a temple. I am freaking Wonder Woman. NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!!!


4. Taking it out.

Okay so I just pull this spout and "gently pull." This is grea---where. the. fuckity. is. the. spout. I can't find it. Oh, there it is.


5. It's not coming out.

I CANNOT get this out.


6. Mental breakdown.

I'm going to have to birth this out. I can't get it. This is bad. This is really really bad. It's up there forever. I'm going to have to go to the ER to get someone to pull this thing out of me. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I have to call my mom. She always knows what to do. No answer. I need to go to the ER. I can't get this out. I'm crying right now.


7. Celebration.

Wow. It's out. I'm so glad that I didn't actually go to the ER to have someone pull this out. I feel so free. I am never going back to tampons again. This is incredible. I'm saving the planet. I'm saving so much money. Just gonna pop this back in now. I am a new woman. HERE I COME WORLD.



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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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