It's that time of year again. The time when you're at the mall with your friends and they say, "I need to find a present for my mom for Mother's Day." You walk along in silence, that familiar pain stabbing at your chest. You help them find the perfect present for their mother, but they can't do the same thing in return for you. You pretend that you're okay, that everything is fine. But you deep down you know that it's not okay.
Deep down you know it's not okay because you don't get to find that perfect present for your mom. You won't be able to celebrate the day with her or your family. There will be no cake. No cards. The only present will be flowers on a grave or tears for a mother you may have never known.
For me, Mother's Day is one of the worst days of the year. In all honesty, I wish that I could sleep through the entire day. I wish that I didn't have to be the girl who puts flowers on her mom's grave. I wish that I could celebrate the day instead of dreading it to the point of tears that lead to exhaustion. But wishing won't change anything. Wishing will only leave me more heartbroken and remind me that I won't be able to experience any holiday the same way ever again.
I so deeply wish that you, the girl or boy without a mom who is reading this, didn't have to relate to this. I wish that you didn't have to feel the same pain that I do. In all reality, it's not fair. It's not fair that we have to go through this day feeling alone.
But that's the thing, you aren't alone.
I know that doesn't always help, that it doesn't take the pain away. I honestly don't think that anything will ever be able to numb the pain just enough. But it shows you that you don't have to go through the day alone. There are thousands, if not millions of people who share that same pain. It may not seem like it, especially when you're surrounded by Mother's Day cards or advertisements, but the rest of us see them too.
It's okay for you to be a little selfish on Mother's Day. If you have to take the day off and retreat to your room, don't let anyone stop you. Your Mother's Day doesn't have to be like everyone else's, and they don't have to understand. That's what we're here for, the people out there who don't have to try to understand, because we already know how you're feeling. We feel it, too.
Let her live on through you and just take it one day at a time.
Keep your chin up, always.
