It seems as though most people want to know what their ex-significant other is up to after they break up. They stalk their Facebook profiles with little to no shame, they ask their friends who are still friends with their exes what they have been up to or if they've been dating anyone -- or the famous question: "Are they happier without me?" and then we all secretly wish that the answer is, "No, they are miserable without you. Terrible, actually. They're regretting the break up completely." But that doesn't really happen -- not to me anyway.

It's been two years since my ex-boyfriend said "peace out" to me for the final time. Yes, he's broken up with me about three times in a span of five years, approximately. What a fun time, huh? So you'd think I was some sort of pro at this avoiding ex-boyfriend stuff, or that I have a heart of steel. You are actually quite right on both of those. I was the kind of girl who never wanted to know what my ex was up to. I would dodge it like a fast bullet coming my way, stop people from talking before they even open their mouths, ready to inform me on my exes life as if they were some celebrity. I've had multiple people throughout all of those breakups keep me in the loop of my ex-boyfriend's life.

"He's dating her, now!"
Me: "Gee, thanks. I'm going to obsess over this and compare myself to the new girlfriend. Yippee!"
"Julia, brace yourself. I have to tell you something."
Me: "If it's about my ex, then I don't want to know."
"They're moving back!"
Me: "Did you not just hear what I said? I said I don't care."
Me: "I don't need this!" (Snaps fingers and disappears into thin air.)

I know how my mind works. I get upset, really upset for a couple of hours, and then I feel better. Back in the day, I was upset for way longer, but years of breaking up has toughened up my heart to handle just about anything.

But still.

I really would prefer to not know what they're up to. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

1. I have my own life to live.

You know this thing where I'm trying incredibly hard to scratch most of what's memories are left out of my life? I'm attempting, at least, to erase his face from my brain and all the details about him. I've come two years and I've done pretty freaking good. Since then, I've focused on myself, started writing for Odyssey, applied for an internship, got a cool summer job, made a lot of money and made a lot of great new friends. Those kinds of awesome things. I took advice straight out of the "stop crying over him girl, and go live your life" book. So why do you keep pulling me back into the past? I don't like it there. I want to live.

2. I'm trying to make new memories.

New: not existing before, made, introduced, discovered recently or now for the first time; different from a recent previous one; just beginning or beginning anew and regarded as better than what went before; (of a person) reinvigorated or restored.

After trying to start fresh a gazillion times from the effect of heartbreak and utter disappointment, all I desperately want is to be happy and live a brand new life. You can't start new chapters if you keep looking back, right? Don't make me.

3. His life and whereabouts doesn't interest me in the least bit.

Oh, he's back? Cool. Oh, he's majoring in that? Awesome. Alright. Were you expecting some sort of specific reaction from me? No. Do I feel as though this has made an impact in my life in any way? No. Alright let's move on, shall we?

4. He's completely irrelevant to me now.

I mean, we broke up like two years ago. If we were boyfriend and girlfriend once upon a time ago, does that mean that he's like permanently part of my baggage? Is there this magical contract somewhere that I signed when we first started dating that says, "Even after a breakup, ex-significant other will still be responsible / connected to other ex-significant other"? No? Yes. No? OK. The I don't care.

5. He's toxic.

I associate certain ex-boyfriends with toxicity and negativity. Therefore, the thought of them, or the mentioning of them, instantly makes me upset and off sets my mood -- from happy, to upset or bothered. I'll admit that there are still some feelings of anger inside of me, but overall, I've come super far and I don't want anyone to ruin that for me.

6. I don't feel like being put in a bad mood today.

Please don't! I'm honestly having a great day, so don't ruin it with your "news" for me. Good days for me are actually pretty rare for me, so I like to cherish the ones I got when I get them.

7. I kinda like living in my own little bubble of a world where he does not exist.

My name is Julia and I like to curl up in a cuddly burrito blanket in bed, eat pizza, listen to music, write and think of awesome, good things, and not be bombarded with blasts from the pasts. I like living in the now and being in my happy place.

8. Did I ask you what he was up to? No. They're called "ex" for a reason.

As in without; excluding.

9. Let's go back a couple of chapters, shall we?

Don't you remember all the pain and anguish he caused me? Yeah, I sorta kinda don't want to relive any of that in other forms. But to sum it up, this guy broke my heart. No. He shattered it. So getting an update on his life is really not my cup of tea right now. And I don't think it will ever be, quite frankly. Why in the world would I want to know what the murderer on my outlook on love is up to? That's just insane.

So when it's right after you give me the update on my ex-boyfriend, you say, "Oh. Oh my god, I didn't mean to upset you. I don't mean to ruin your day."

And that's when I say:

I know that most people are only looking out for me, and are kind of "preparing" me just in case I run into an ex or something. I get that it comes from good intention. But when you're in the other position, when you're the ex, it doesn't seem that way in the moment. All I'm saying is to respect the person's wishes and if they don't want to hear about their ex's life, then try super hard to abide by that.

I still love you.