To the man who loves me,

Hi. How are you today? Did you sleep well? Because I know you spend most of your nights walking around catching Pokemon or talking to your best friend, smoking a cigarette and questioning life's meaning and whether time is even a thing. I know I have a semi-normal sleep cycle, so you literally spend most of your nights alone, or with said best friend smoking until the wee hours of the morning and wondering if an octopus is born with seven legs instead of eight, does that make it a septopus, or is it an octopus with a genetic mutation? Will this octopus ever grow another leg? Does this octopus have an identity crisis? Does the octopus feel alone? Does he or she get made fun of? Will the octopus ever feel like he or she will ever belong because he or she is all alone in his or her new species of octopi?

Hi. How are you? Did you have a good day? I miss you. I miss you so much. This whole not living together thing really, really sucks. I wish we could spend every moment together. I know we rarely get to see each other because you have work and I have school. I wish we could have more than two nights a week together. I really wish we could find time to be together. This whole relationship with my phone is really starting to grow old. I just want to be with you. It's almost like the universe is trying to tear us apart.

Hi. How are you? Did you sleep well? I know you finally got some sleep, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I saw you caught some new Pokemon. Congrats babe. You did it. You finally got me to download that stupid game. I'm team mystic and you are team valor. Will this relationship work out? Obviously. I mean, why wouldn't we work out? Other than the fact that your all-consuming jealousy drives my already unstable brain up a wall. Or that your mother despises every atom of me. Or that my all-consuming jealousy drives your mentally unstable brain farther into the all-consuming darkness of that place. Or the fact that we are polar opposites in every way. Will we work out? How could this possibly work out?

Hi. How are you? I miss you so much it hurts. My insecurities are driving me insane and I need cuddles to make me forget about them. Just for a moment. One beautiful and perfect moment to take away the all-consuming thoughts that drive me to the point of not wanting to exist. I don't know what it is about you, but you take away the pain. I somehow managed to find my perfect person in this seven billion plus people world. How is that even possible?

Hello. Did you get any rest? Any at all? My mother asked about you, and she is wondering how you are? I told her you were fine, and that I would hopefully see you soon. Remember that time that Caitlyn threw french fries at us for being cheesy? I really wish every night could be as great as that! I miss you. I miss you so much. How's work? We really need a date night.

Hi. I guess we didn't work.