The scenario look like this, you’re hanging out with a group of family members or friends and all of the sudden you find yourself scrolling through Facebook, swiping on Tinder or watching Snapchat. It’s not just you, in any given group there are probably several other people who are doing the same thing. You’re all together, you’re having conversations and spending time in the same place, but nobody is really—actually-- present.
It’s a lost art really. The experience of sitting in conversation fully engaged and present without the distractions of social media or technology. It’s not that we don’t care to be present with our loved ones, it’s just that we have learned to divide our attention amongst several different directions. We feel the need to stay connected, electronically, to the outside world. For most of the younger Millennials, the scenario seems to be a normal part of social gatherings. They don’t really have any recollection of a simpler time when people gathered and were fully present with each other, rather than focused on the things that were going on in the outside world. The normalcy of the situation has contributed to a disconnect among relationships and has created the perfect environment for people to gather, without truly connecting in a deep way.
As an older Millennial, I remember the days when conversations seemed more meaningful and connected. I remember having conversations in a group setting and feeling the people I confided in were giving me their full attention. I remember the days when cell phones only truly functioned as a way to contact loved ones and were not one of our sole sources of connection with family and friends. I remember when big announcements were heard through word of mouth or in person, and not read on a screen. I also remember when friendships and connections seemed just a little more meaningful because I couldn’t hide behind a screen to tell my circle of friends how I was doing, instead they would ask me in person and I felt more obligated to be real and more fully myself, because to look somebody in the eye and pretend to be okay was significantly harder than writing a carefully formulated status and hitting the publish button.
It’s not that technology is necessarily a bad thing, it’s just that I fear as a society we have forgotten the long lost art of connection. I worry that in- person relationships are becoming less of a priority in favor of feeling connected to our social media networks. I worry that we are taking for granted the people we have right in front of us while we fixate on our Internet friends behind a screen.
In the end, I am firm believer in balance. People can and DO balance social media with interpersonal relationships and so can we. We simply need to be more intentional about our time spent in the company of loved ones. We need to practice things like technology free meals and conversations. I recently challenged myself to one technology free evening a week and I found that I didn’t really miss anything during the 4 hours that my cell phone sat, turned off, on the kitchen counter. The Facebook statuses, tweets, DMs and text messages were all there waiting for me like no time had passed at all. Nothing was so time sensitive that It couldn’t have waited, and you know what? The time spent sans technology is relaxing, intentional, productive and focused on things that I know are truly important to me.
