The Lifestyle Of Loneliness
Start writing a post
Student Life

The Lifestyle Of Loneliness

Just because loneliness is a part of our life doesn't mean we make it our entire life.

47
The Lifestyle Of Loneliness
Gretchen Rubin

There are two types of loneliness. There is being alone and there is being lonely. For a good portion of my life, I saw myself as living as one who was truly and terribly lonely.

I assume many of you can relate to this.

As it varies from person to person, we all go through these off periods in our lives where we begin to question the validity of our relationships with other people.

"Do they really like me or are they simply pitying me?"

"Can I truly believe these people when they say they love me?"

"Am I honestly someone they think about when I'm not around?"

These thoughts, along with countless others, all come to us at some point or another - and honestly, it is for good reason. We all have this natural tendency within us that craves fellowship with others; we want to form relationships, we want to know others, and we want them to know us. Companionship seems to be hard-wired into our psyche. However, often times this can become our obsession; where we constantly need to be surrounded by people and reassured that we are worth something. We take this really good thing and twist it to make it rather unhealthy for us. I can attest. There is a battle within me that honestly craves a confirmation of my worth from others.

Without it, I honestly felt lonely - so much so that I'd begin to conjure up lies that I was worthless. If my friends were not there, around the clock, then were they really friends at all? I came to adopt this demented outlook and it was slowly destroying me.

I could never be alone - or at least - I could never be alone and be productive and happy. I craved attention and sought for it anywhere it was offered.

That is no way to live, my friends.

Honestly, we can never really avoid points of being lonely; it seems to just be a part of being alive. Yet, I have found that there is a pretty big distinction between being alone and loneliness.

The dictionary describes being alone as "having no one else present" whereas lonely is described as being "sad because one has no friends or company"

Now for me, I came to realize that in those moments where I felt abandoned and without anyone who cared me, I was simply alone. No one else was present and therefore, I confused my state with loneliness.

Truth is, I have the privilege of calling some of the greatest people in the world my friends. People who I would do anything for, without hesitation and I know they feel the same about me. However, because of circumstances, we simply don't see each other as often as we would like to - but that doesn't change the fact that they are just a call or text away.

I know everyone's story is different, and I do not wish to invalidate what you feel. I just want to make sure that we really do take everything into perspective. We have developed a culture where we thrive off of what other people think about us. It is all about how many friends we have and how often they are around us - and if we lack in them surrounding us 24/7, it makes us worthless.

That is not the case. Don't confuse being alone with loneliness. There are people out there who love you, care for you, and want nothing but the best for you. You just have to stop and look. Even if they are not exactly there in that moment, I ask that you look beyond that.

You're cared about. Your presence is valuable. Never forget that.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

62852
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

41189
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

961786
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

210865
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments